Friendless
by VelvetC
Summary: Dramione. Draco has returned for his seventh year at Hogwarts, along with the trio. When he asks Hermione to help him with his N.E.W.T revision, an unlikely relationship forms. But is it genuine, or is Draco just using her? NEW CHAPTERS NOW UP! R
1. Chapter 1

**A/N – Disclaimer – I do not own Harry Potter, any of the characters, places, etc etc it all belongs to J.K Rowling.**

A light breeze played across the lake, sending ripples over to the bank on the other side. A small group of first years were gathered on the lawn, playing Gobstones and enthusing about the Chudley Cannons while several irate sixth years complained about their revision – the O.W.L's were drawing near.

Hermione was sat in the shade of a birch tree by the waters edge, leafing through her Charms notes.

"Fancy a game of chess?" said Ron

"What?" said Hermione impatiently

"Chess" Ron repeated, opening a Chocolate Frog, stuffing it in his mouth and discarding the wrapper

Hermione raised her eyebrows "you do realise that we will be sitting our N.E.W.T exams in the next few months, don't you?"

"Yeah?" said Ron, unconcerned

Hermione sighed and stuffed her notes back in her bag "Harry will play chess with you. I actually care about my grades, so if you don't mind, I'd rather concentrate on my revision" she leant against the tree trunk and took out _The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 7_

"I have been studying, you know" said Ron defensively "I'm just taking a break"

"Mhmm" said Hermione, running her finger down the index "where is Harry, anyway?"

"Dunno. With Ginny, probably. Hey, look who's just turned up"

Hermione followed Ron's gaze across the lawn and her eyes fell upon a tall, blond figure wearing Slytherin robes. They walked across the grass, not quite meeting anyone's eye and settled themselves several feet away from a crowd of chattering Ravenclaw girls who stopped their conversation abruptly to stare at the newcomer. Hermione had not seen Draco Malfoy for quite some time. She assumed he had been hiding in his dormitory and to be honest, she couldn't blame him.

The Daily Prophet had reported, two months ago, that Lucius Malfoy had been found dead, presumably murdered by Voldemort before his downfall a month previously. The reason why was still unclear but the Death Eater had obviously done something to upset his master. Narcissa Malfoy, meanwhile, had been given a life sentence in Azkaban. Malfoy, who had already been given the Dark Mark and well on his way to becoming a Death Eater himself, joined the Order shortly after his father's demise and the Order accepted him into their ranks. Professor McGonagall, Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, had arranged for him to come back to school to finish seventh year.

Hermione had heard that Malfoy had abandoned the Death Eaters, many of whom were still at large and decided to join those fighting against them. She believed it; she knew that Malfoy was telling the truth. Why, she didn't know. Perhaps because she had seen the change in him. There was no more sneering or snide comments, no more striding down the corridors like he owned the place – he was quiet, reserved and seemed genuinely sorry. Unfortunately, the rest of the students did not appear to have forgiven him yet.

Now, Malfoy was the one who was scowled at, bullied and left out. Pupils would hiss "Death Eater" at him in the hallways, sit far away from him in the Great Hall, skirt around him in the corridors. And Hermione had not seen Malfoy say anything back, not even attempt to defend himself.

She watched him take out his books as the Ravenclaw girls scuttled away. He spread his notes out on the grass and took out a quill, twisting it around his fingers apparently deep in thought. It was several moments before Hermione realised Ron was speaking.

"…bottom of the league again, I can't believe it. You'd think they had a chance against the Tornados, they've not been playing up to standard since they lost their Seeker, you know, whatshisname, left for the Wimbourne Wasps, I think"

"Ron," Hermione began exasperatedly "because I care about your grades almost as much as you care about Quidditch, I'm going to suggest that you put that magazine down and look at your notes!" she grabbed _Quidditch Today_ from Ron's grasp and threw it to the side.

"Alright! Blimey, Hermione calm down. They're in my dormitory I'll be back in a sec"

Hermione watched Ron disappear into the castle and turned her attention back to Malfoy, who was frowning over what appeared to be an Astronomy chart. She watched him angrily scribble out one the moons, pressing the quill down so forcefully on the parchment that it snapped. She saw him search through his bag for another one.

Hermione was not quite sure what made her do it. She might have felt sorry for him, perhaps, seeing him alone and friendless, struggling with the piles of revision which lay out before him. She walked tentatively over, a quill grasped in her hand.

"What do you want, Granger?" snapped Malfoy

Hermione hesitated "I saw you break your quill" she said, handing over her own

Malfoy snorted "been watching me, have you?"

"No" she lied

"So let me get this straight, you came all the way over here, dragged yourself away from your precious homework, just to give me a stupid quill? I'm quite capable of going back into school and getting another one, you know"

"If you don't want it, I won't force you" she turned away

"Wait Granger"

She stopped and faced him again "yes?"

"Thanks" said Malfoy grudgingly "for the quill"

Hermione handed it over "no problem, Malfoy"

He returned to his chart. Hermione watched him label the moon again and bit her lip. She had already seen several mistakes and before she could stop herself… "You've got that bit wrong"

"What?" said Malfoy

"You've erm, labelled several of the planets incorrectly" Hermione went on, already regretting not holding her tongue and returning to the birch tree and her own revision. Seeing Malfoy's glare, a glare that told her clearly to shove off, she quickly added "never mind, see you around" and hurried back to the birch tree where she spent the next hour correcting Ron's abysmal History of Magic essay.

"I was sure I got those dates right" Ron told her as they walked together to the Great Hall "I made loads of notes in Binns' class, didn't fall asleep once"

"That must be a record for you, I'm impressed" said Hermione, heading for the Gryffindor table where Harry and Ginny were already eating lunch

"Studying hard?" said Harry who had a stack of potions essays piled up next his plate.

Ginny was immersed in her own homework. She set it down and sighed wearily "I certainly am" she said, resting her head on Harry's shoulder "N.E.W.T's must be tough though" she added sympathetically

"You have no idea" said Ron, reaching for a jacket potato and spooning copious amounts of butter onto it.

Hermione wasn't really listening. Malfoy had just entered the Great Hall. He seated himself at the end of the Slytherin table, which was emptier than usual. Many of the Slytherins had left after their parents were arrested for Death Eater activity. Malfoy was one of the only members of the house who remained.

They had potions with Professor Slughorn after lunch. Hermione, Harry and Ron said farewell to Ginny by the staircase as she departed for Divination, and they headed towards the dungeons.

"Granger" Hermione whirled around. Malfoy was standing by the doors to the Great Hall "can I have a word?"

Harry and Ron looked at her, surprised "want us to wait?" said Ron, his eyes on Malfoy

"No" said Hermione "I'll only be a moment" she waited until Harry and Ron were out of sight before approaching Malfoy "yes?"

"You said I'd made mistakes on my Astronomy chart"

Hermione nodded "yes, there were several"

Malfoy looked awkward, something Hermione could not recall seeing before "I was wondering if you would give me a hand with it"

"Erm," said Hermione "of course"

"I was thinking you could check some of my essays and things too?"

"I'll check my timetable" Hermione replied, astounded at Malfoy's politeness

"Right, well…"

"Yes, I'll get back to you. I've got potions, I can't really be late" and she hurried towards the dungeons, without looking back, a little red in the face.


	2. Chapter 2

"He's using you, Hermione!" Ron said dismissively after Hermione had confided in him and Harry "you think so, don't you Harry?"

"I dunno" said Harry "I never thought I'd say this, but Malfoy really does seem to have changed recently. We can't carry on hating him, I suppose, he's in the Order now. Nevertheless, it might not be a good idea for you to tutor him, Hermione"

"It's not exactly tutoring" said Hermione "I'm just helping him with his homework" she paused "I feel sort of sorry for him, to be truthful. He hasn't even got Crabbe and Goyle anymore"

"Not that they were much use in the first place" said Ron, muttering the password to Gryffindor tower and climbing through the portrait hole. Harry disappeared into the dormitory, looking more tired than Hermione had seen him in a long time.

"They were still his friends" said Hermione, suddenly wondering why she was defending Malfoy. It was true; he had never been nice to her. In fact, he had been downright horrible and not just to her, but to her friends. But despite all the nasty things he had said to her over the years, the way he had behaved, she was willing to give him a chance because she knew that nobody else would "if he says one nasty comment, one insult, that's it" she said to Ron, who did not look very convinced "I'll put a stop to it"

"You're getting like Harry" Ron told her, collapsing into his favourite armchair by the fire "this whole 'need to help people' thing"

"I think Harry's heroics were a lot nobler than helping Draco Malfoy with his revision" said Hermione, pulling her bag towards her and fishing around inside for the diagrams she had made in Herbology that afternoon.

"So where are you going to meet Malfoy to do this study thing?" said Ron, smoothing out his Transfiguration essay, only to pick up his quill, frown and set it down again

"You, Ronald, are going to fail your N.E.W.T's" said Hermione "unless you get some serious study done. And I don't know yet. The library, maybe? Has Professor McGonagall said anything about that study room?"

"Yeah" said Ron "it was on the notice board yesterday. Fourth floor, opens tomorrow, sixth and seventh years only"

"Perfect" said Hermione

The following morning, Hermione spent the first fifteen minutes of her study hour trying to locate Draco Malfoy. She was just about to give up and retreat back to the Gryffindor common room, when he appeared in the Entrance Hall, evidently having had a late breakfast

"Malfoy" Hermione called, hurrying over to him and stumbling slightly under the weight of all the books in her bag "I've been looking for you. I've found somewhere we can work"

"You still want to, then?" he said

"We should start on your Astronomy chart" Hermione replied "we can use the new study room on the fourth floor"

"You'll be right at home in there, Granger" said Malfoy, a shadow of a smirk appearing on his face

"You just can't help yourself, can you?" said Hermione acidly, leading the way up the staircase

"Come on, Granger. That was weak compared to my usual standards"

Hermione chose not to reply to this. They hadn't even started and she could already sense an argument brewing. More to fill the silence that had fallen between them than anything else, Hermione said "why did you come back to school, Malfoy?"

"Why not?" he replied "there's little else for me to do. I could get a job I suppose, but most employers don't want ex- Death Eaters"

"I suppose not" Hermione mumbled.

The study room, which, as far as Hermione could remember, had been a previously disused classroom. Now however, it appeared to have been transformed using magic. It was at least half the size of the Great Hall, with half of its space devoted to a small library, large wooden tables and straight backed chairs grouped in the middle. The other part had been seperated into roomy cubicles for those who wished to work privately. There were a few comfortable looking sofas and armchairs and candles glittered inside decorative lanterns hanging from the walls.

Lavender Brown was reclining on one of the sofas next to Parvati Patil, both of whom had their noses buried in books. Lavender looked up as Hermione passed "Hi Hermione" she yawned "how's the studying – oh"

Malfoy strolled past and headed for one of the cubicles, ignoring Lavender's stare and Parvati's muttering "I'm helping Malfoy with his revision" Hermione explained

"Right" said Lavender who watched Hermione's progress across the room, her eyes wide.

Malfoy shut the door of the cubicle once Hermione was inside "unless you want it open, if you're afraid I'm going to attack you, or something. I just can't stand those two girl's gossiping, drives me mad" he said

"N…no" said Hermione "it's fine. It would be best we had some peace and quiet" she sat down on one of the chairs "I think there might be a charm on these cubicles, you know" she said, merely for the excuse to say something "I can't hear them talking, now the door is shut"

Malfoy shrugged "where did I go wrong with the Astronomy, then?"

Hermione took out her books and parchment and tugged Malfoy's chart towards her "everywhere" she said, picking up her quill. Malfoy's hand was rested upon the table next to it and, Hermione, with her eyes on the chart did not see it. Her hand brushed against his and she retracted her own quickly, turning to the chart and scribbling out one of his mistakes "sorry" she said. She cleared her throat "so many of these planets are mislabelled. You should really start again"

Malfoy rooted around for a spare sheet of parchment and Hermione took this opportunity to steal a look at him. He had never been ugly, she reasoned but never entirely attractive either, but it wasn't necessarily his looks that made it so. It was his personality that Hermione didn't like. He looked drained, though. Tired and weary. He had the look of a man who had been through too much, too often. Her eyes travelled over his robes and she wondered whether the Dark Mark was on his forearm, hidden beneath them. She did not think she had ever seen anyone with fairer hair, strands falling carelessly over his eyes - they were silvery blue, pale and cold.

"Parchment" he said, tossing it across the table towards her.

"I'm not doing it for you" she said firmly "you have to put the work in, you know"

"Fine" replied Malfoy, a trace of irritation in his tone "where's the text book?"

Hermione lay in bed that night, questioning Malfoy's intentions. Maybe Ron was right, Malfoy was just using her to get good grades; even he couldn't deny her academic abilities. The part of her that wanted to believe that Malfoy just wanted a friend was quickly melting away to make way for fresh doubt. Perhaps he hadn't changed at all, was still selfish as he was when she had first met him. And he was, after all, an ex- Death Eater. Yet everyone makes mistakes, Hermione thought and Malfoy seemed to have realised where he had gone wrong and was trying to make it right. The Order trusted him, even Harry seemed to think he had changed his ways.

Their first session could have been worse, she pondered. They hadn't argued, at least and he did seem to be making some progress, although most of the time he had merely been using her notes instead of his own and she was sure he had been copying some of her work. Tomorrow, she decided, she would put her foot down. If Malfoy wanted her as his tutor, he would have to get used to her way of doing things.


	3. Chapter 3

Two weeks passed during which Hermione and Draco met up, almost every evening, in the study room at five o'clock. It had become very much a routine now and most of their fellow students had come to expect their presence in the study room, leaving their usual cubicle empty for them. Hermione doubted that they were doing this out of kindness and very much thought they merely wanted to avoid Draco. Parvati and Lavender however, who seemed to both have a constant need for fresh gossip, remained very interested in this new companionship and Hermione often caught them skulking around the study room in the evening, waiting for their arrival.

Hermione could not help but feel rather proud of herself. Draco, who had been well on his way to failing most subjects, had been improving admirably. The sessions were becoming less of a chore now, and she was beginning to actually enjoy them.

"How's it been going then?" said Ron

"It's going perfectly well, thank you" said Hermione who was checking one of Ron's essays for mistakes over breakfast

"Malfoy's not been saying anything rude to you? 'Cos if he is –"

"Ron" said Hermione shortly, reaching for the marmalade "I appreciate your concern but I am quite able to handle myself, thanks"

"Yeah, well…" Ron grumbled, taking back his essay and brightening at once "cheers, Hermione. Most of it was okay though, right? You haven't made as many corrections as you usually do"

"You have improved" said Hermione, taking out her own essay "but you're going to have to study by yourself, tonight. I've got another meeting with Malfoy in the study room"

Harry appeared at the breakfast table, looking particularly disgruntled. "Quidditch isn't looking too good this year" he said, pouring himself a cup of tea "I've been on that pitch since dawn and Ravenclaw's put together a strong team"

"You'll manage it, mate" said Ron encouragingly "you always do"

Hermione tuned out when the boys started discussing game strategy. She finished her toast, picked up her books and left the Great Hall. Subsequently, she was early for Potions.

"Miss Granger" boomed Slughorn, his voice echoing off the stone walls of the dungeon "nice and early, I see"

"Good morning, Professor" Hermione went to sit at her usual table, but spotted someone in the shadows. It was Malfoy, sitting in the corner, poring over his copy of _Advanced Potion Making_. She deposited her bag on her table and slid into the seat next to him

"Granger" Malfoy said

"Hello, Malfoy" Hermione replied "are you free this evening?"

"Obviously" there was a long silence during which Slughorn ambled about the classroom, muttering something about rusted cauldrons.

"Your quill" said Malfoy, holding it out to her

"Oh" said Hermione "thanks. I'd forgotten I'd lent it to you" Malfoy returned to his book

"So, how are you today anyway, Malfoy?" Hermione said conversationally He didn't answer at first.

"I've been better"

Students began filing into the classroom. Ron and Harry walked in with Seamus and Dean, who appeared to had joined in the Quidditch debate Hermione had left behind in the Great Hall.

"You need to rethink your whole strategy if you ask me, Harry" said Seamus, plonking his cauldron down on the table with a resounding clang "Ravenclaw have been working really hard this year. I reckon they're determined to win the cup"

"Quiet down, now" said Slughorn. Hermione hastily made her way back to her usual seat, only to find it occupied by Seamus who was still discussing the upcoming Quidditch Cup with the others "ah, sorry Hermione" said Seamus, gathering his things

"What is this now?" said Slughorn "Mr. Finnigan, remain where you are please. We have a very busy lesson today and there is little time to discuss seating arrangements"

Hermione hovered uncertainly in the aisle between the two rows of desks "Miss Granger, in the spare seat with Mr Malfoy, please"

And so Hermione, not quite able to look Harry and Ron in the eye, grabbed her bag and took her place next to Malfoy who smirked and returned his gaze to Slughorn who was writing the instructions for the lesson on the blackboard.

Hermione reached into her bag to retrieve her own copy of _Advanced Potion Making_, only to find it was not there. She groaned, realising what she had done "I've left my book in the common room" she whispered "I've been so busy lately…"

"…and so the method is on the board, you should have the correct ingredients in your Potion Making kit, if not, tell me what you need and I shall get it from the store cupboard" Professor Slughorn was saying

Malfoy rolled his eyes and pushed his copy closer to her "share mine then" he said in a tone that suggested he was stating the absolute obvious

"As long as you don't mind –"

"Miss Granger, I do not object to talking in my classroom, but I must insist that you do not speak when I am addressing the class" said Slughorn loudly, making Hermione blush

"Malfoy was talking too, sir!" said Ron at once and Hermione buried her face in her hands

"Shut it, Weasley" snapped Malfoy

"Make me" Ron retorted, leaping to his feet and drawing his wand just as Malfoy did the same

"Boys!" Slughorn shouted "I will not have wands drawn in my classroom! Sit down at once or you will both be sent to the Headmistress!"

"What's the matter, Weasley" said Malfoy softly "worried that I'm stealing your girlfriend?"

Ron's ears went red

"I am not his girlfriend!" Hermione cried

"Weasley wishes you were though, don't you Weasley?" Malfoy continued, his eyes narrowed into that familiar glare Hermione had seen many times before "I've seen the way you look at her –"

"Sit down, Malfoy" said Harry calmly and Hermione saw his hand move surreptitiously to his own wand

"Or what, Potter?"

"Enough!" Hermione bellowed

"Detention, all of you!" yelled Slughorn. Hermione felt her throat tighten. She was on edge already recently and this was too much. She seized her bag and cauldron and fled from the dungeon. She ran around the corner, tears spilling out of her eyes and came to a halt several doors away from Professor Slughorn's classroom. Ron was right, Ron was right all along and she should have listened. Malfoy was, and always would be an arrogant, selfish –

"Granger?"

Hermione wiped her eyes "what are you doing here?" she said, trying and failing to sound fierce "go away, Malfoy"

"I've been sent to McGonagall" Malfoy explained

"Why?"

"Trying to hex Weasley" said Malfoy "don't worry" he added when Hermione looked at him furiously "it missed. The idiot ducked just in time. The spell hit one of Slughorn's cauldrons which just happened to be full of Felix Felicis. He wasn't pleased"

"Leave me alone, Malfoy" Hermione said weakly but Malfoy didn't move. He took a step closer and sat down on the floor with his back against the grimy stone wall "I don't even know what you're crying for, Granger" he said

"You wouldn't" said Hermione, sitting down a few feet away from him

"You've got nothing to cry about. What is it? Are you worried you're going to fail your N.E.W.T's? Because by the look of things, I'll be failing those too"

"No you won't, you're doing quite well. And it's nothing to do with exams" said Hermione, beginning to feel a little foolish "well, it has a bit"

"Easy to let things get on top of you, isn't it?"

"Well you haven't been looking too happy either recently" said Hermione, past caring what she said to Malfoy anymore.

"I wonder why"

Hermione sniffed and stood up "I didn't mean it like that" she said quietly

"I know you didn't, Granger" he replied, getting to his feet and striding down the hallway "see you tonight then" and he disappeared around the corner, leaving Hermione alone to contemplate her thoughts.


	4. Chapter 4

The study room on the fourth floor was empty when Hermione arrived the following evening, it was quite late. She had to reschedule the study session because Malfoy had a detention with Slughorn. She had only just escaped punishment herself for what had occurred in yesterday's Potion lesson by apologising profusely and agreeing to help the Professor clean up after the class.

She headed for their usual cubicle and set out her books on the desk. Malfoy strolled in some ten minutes later and sank into the chair opposite

"How was the detention?" Hermione asked

"I had to help Slughorn sort through the store cupboard" Malfoy replied tonelessly

"Oh, well that's not so bad"

"And I've got another detention tomorrow evening. Then two with McGonagall on Friday"

"Well, you did destroy a whole cauldron of Felix Felicis" said Hermione fairly

Malfoy didn't reply but took out his Herbology diagram for Hermione to look over "I'll check this while you start on that Transfiguration essay" she said "have a go at doing it by yourself for a while, you've got all the information in your notes. I'll look at your spelling and such afterwards" They worked in silence for half an hour until Hermione passed Malfoy back his diagram and said "this is fine now, there was only one mistake, which –"

"I came back because I had nowhere else to go"

"What?" said Hermione, perplexed

"You asked me, ages ago, why I came back to school. I came back because I don't have anywhere else" said Malfoy, his eyes on his diagram

"Why are you telling me this, Malfoy?" said Hermione

"Because you asked"

"No" said Hermione gently "why are you really telling me this? You're not telling me just because I asked" she hesitated "there's no shame in wanting to talk about things, Malfoy"

When he didn't offer a response, Hermione went on "what about your house?"

"The Ministry took it" said Malfoy and the look in his eyes told Hermione that he was regretting saying anything at all now "can you go over the five exceptions to Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration again? I still don't understand it"

"They took your house?" said Hermione "why?"

Malfoy set down his quill "because my arsehole of a father owed gold to the Ministry. They took the house to pay off his debts"

"You would be welcome at Order Headquarters. Harry wouldn't –"

"That hovel that belonged to my second cousin? I don't want anything to do with that family anymore"

"Sirius Black was very brave and very noble" said Hermione defensively

"I never said he wasn't" said Malfoy and he sighed angrily "I just want to start again, alright? Except its hard when nobody trusts you and everyone still thinks you're a bloody Death Eater"

"I trust you" said Hermione quietly

"Why are you doing this?" said Malfoy sharply "why are you helping me with my homework after all that I've done to you? After all the shit I've said and done to you over the years? Why even bother?"

"Because we all need a friend sometimes, Malfoy" said Hermione firmly, looking into his eyes "even you"

"I don't need a friend, Granger" Malfoy retorted hotly "I'm not here to be best mates with you; I'm here to get help with my N.E.W.T's so get that idea out of your head. I didn't come to you looking for company"

"I don't think that's true" said Hermione

"Well it is! You think I'm doing this because I _like_ you?" said Malfoy scathingly "we both know that with you tutoring me I'm guaranteed to pass my N.E.W.T.'s!"

Hermione was not deterred "your mother is in prison, Malfoy, your father's dead, you've got nowhere to go, nobody to turn to –"

"I DON'T CARE!" Malfoy bellowed, making Hermione jump "look, this whole thing was a mistake. You can go back to spending all your time with Potter and Weasley and I'll pass my N.E.W.T's by myself. Now fuck off and leave me alone" he grabbed his things, jumped to his feet and stormed from the cubicle, slamming the door behind him

"YOU STARTED THIS CONVERSATION, MALFOY!" Hermione screamed after him "FINE! FINE! IF THAT'S HOW YOU WANT IT!"

"I hate to say it, Hermione" said Ron imperiously the next day in the Gryffindor common room "but I told you so. Want me to have a word with the little ferret?"

"No, Ron" said Hermione "just leave it, the whole thing was a disaster. The trouble is, he has no chance of passing his N.E.W.T's without my help. He missed almost all of our sixth year, and –"

"Why do care, Hermione?" Ron interrupted "you gave him a chance and he mucked it up, end of story"

Hermione thought about this. Why _did_ she care? Well, she certainly wasn't going to bother herself about it anymore. Malfoy had made his choice, she had offered to be there for him and he had thrown it back in her face. Besides, now she had more free time to herself, more time to –

"Could you just have a look at these Charms notes I made the other day?" said Ron tentatively "I could really do with a hand"

Hermione exhaled deeply "hand it over, then"

"Thanks, Hermione. And listen, don't worry about Malfoy"

But Hermione thought that was easier said than done.


	5. Chapter 5

**Authors Note - This is a slightly longer chapter than the others. I'm not sure whether I'm entirely happy with it or not so let me know what you think of it in a review :)**

Autumn was evaporating fast into winter. A thick carpet of snow had settled on the turrets of Hogwarts Castle and its grounds and Christmas was fast approaching,

"He's used an Engorgement Charm again" said Hermione, casting her eye over Hagrid's pumpkins as she, Harry and Ron made their way back up to the school after having tea with the gamekeeper.

Malfoy had not spoken to Hermione since their last meeting and she had not spoken to him either. She very rarely saw him in the corridors and when she did he walked past her without a glance.

"I'm going to stay at school over the holidays this year" said Harry morosely "I've got loads of work to do"

"You're joking?" said Ron incredulously "Mum's expecting you at The Burrow!"

"I think Ron should be the one to remain behind" said Hermione bossily "he's the one with three piles full of unfinished History of Magic essays"

"What are you doing then?" said Ron

"Staying, of course" said Hermione "besides, it could be fun"

"Fun?" said Ron "how do you work that one out?"

"There's going to be a Yule Ball this year" said Harry "It's been on the notice board for the past two days. It's not just for the people at school, either. Ex- students are invited"

"Oh I hope the Order will be attending" said Hermione "we haven't seen them in ages"

Christmas was a welcome break from revision for Hermione and her classmates. The Great Hall had been decorated for the Yule Ball and Hermione was reminded irresistibly of her fourth year at Hogwarts as girls giggled in hallways while boys hovered nervously in the corridors summoning up the courage to ask one of them to the dance. Hermione wasn't going with anyone. After a disastrous month long relationship with Ron during the summer, who had already asked Hannah Abbot, Hermione was quite keen that Ron did not offer to partner her. Harry of course, was going with Ginny and Neville, to his immense surprise, had been asked by Lavender Brown.

On Christmas morning, Hermione awoke early and found a heap of presents at the end of her bed. Frowning at the thought of all the house-elves who were undoubtedly working extra hard to deliver all the gifts and prepare the feast, Hermione set to work unwrapping her own pile. Ron had given her a necklace, which was nice of him, she thought even though she rarely wore jewellery. There was a little gemstone charm on the end that changed colours every so often. Harry had given her a new copy of _Hogwarts – A History_ which she appreciated as her other one was starting to fall apart, Neville a stack of Honeydukes sweets, Ginny a new quill and Luna a rather peculiar bracelet that came with a note informing her that it 'kept away the Wrackspurts' and the latest edition of the Quibbler. Hagrid's present was a tin of his famous if not rather inedible, treacle fudge and there was the usual assortment of mince pies and cakes from Mrs Weasley, along with a knitted jumper that had her initials on the front.

Hermione climbed out of bed, clutching Mrs Weasley's jumper, but hesitated when she heard something fall onto the floor with a thump. Frowning, she leant down and picked up a square parcel. It was quite heavy and Hermione could already tell it was a book of some sorts. Stripping off the paper, she gasped. It was a handsome homework diary, the cover made from soft black leather. Her name was stamped in gold italics on the front cover in the corner. She opened it up. There was a pocket on the inside for keeping quills in, a calendar, and a page to write a timetable on. But there was no card. Searching through the paper, she pulled out a small scrap of parchment. The handwriting was familiar.

_Granger,_

It read

_Thought I should apologise for shouting at you._

_Merry Christmas._

_Draco._

Hermione scowled and threw the diary to the floor. She knew why Malfoy had done this, because he was most definitely, failing his N.E.W.T's. She had overheard Professor Flitwick berating him about his coursework on the last day of term. Well she wasn't about to be swayed by presents and meaningless words. He could fail every single exam for all she cared; she wasn't going to tutor him again. He could keep his stupid diary; in fact, she would give it back to him just to show how much she wasn't interested. She was already imagining how she would do it. Next time she saw him in the corridor or in the Great Hall, she would hand it back to him and walk away. Or throw it at his head. That might be more satisfying. But in the meantime, she had revision to do herself, which was much more important than Draco Malfoy's selfishness. And she had to get ready for the Yule Ball which was taking place that evening.

Lavender and Parvati had roped her into getting ready with them "it's part of the fun, Hermione!" said Lavender, running a brush through her hair "don't tell me you got ready by yourself for the Yule Ball in our fourth year?"

"I did actually" said Hermione, applying Sleekeazy's Hair Potion to her roots

"Reckon Viktor will be there?" Parvati giggled

"Viktor and I were over a long time ago" Hermione informed them "and he will be much too busy with Quidditch to come"

"Oliver Wood's coming, I heard" said Lavender, brushing sparkly glitter across her eyelids "now he's hot"

"Is this all you ever talk about?" said Hermione, casting a lengthening Charm on her hair "makeup and boys?"

"Ooh your hair looks amazing like that, Hermione" said Parvati "much better than it does usually"

Hermione rolled her eyes "who are you going to the Ball with, Parvati?"

"Dean Thomas" she replied, falling into a fit of giggles "what about you?"

"Nobody" said Hermione offhandedly. Lavender and Parvati's mouths fell open in unison "nobody?" they said together

"You have to go with someone!" said Lavender "what about Ron?"

"Ron is going with Hannah" replied Hermione

"Or you could go with Malfoy" grinned Parvati "you two were getting pretty cosy last term"

Hermione stood up "I was helping him with his homework, as you very well know"

"He might be a prat" Parvati went on "and an ex- Death Eater..."

"Or so he claims" added Lavender

"But he is quite good looking" and with that the two girls collapsed into laughter once more. Hermione waited for it to stop before saying "the Ball starts in half an hour. You two should get a move on"

"What are you wearing?" said Lavender interestedly "don't tell me you're going to wear the same thing you wore three years ago?"

"Of course not" said Hermione "I'll show you" she reached inside her wardrobe and brought out a long, purple silk dress she had bought in Hogsmeade last week. It was a little low cut for her liking but she had a matching cloak to put over it in case she became too uncomfortable. Lavender and Parvati gasped "it's beautiful, Hermione!" said Lavender

"You don't think it's a bit…revealing?" asked Hermione

"Don't be stupid!" said Parvati "you'll look great"

"Will Malfoy be at the ball?" said Lavender, examining her nails "maybe he'll ask you to dance…"

"I have no idea whether Malfoy will be at the ball" said Hermione "and I certainly won't be dancing with him if he is"

Hermione walked down to the Great Hall with Lavender and Parvati who abandoned her when Neville and Dean turned up. Most of the school was already inside, chattering excitedly. A lot of the students who were of age were sipping on glasses of mead and Firewhisky. Harry and Ginny were dancing nearby and Ron was leading Hannah across the dance floor. Hermione had stuffed the homework diary into her handbag before leaving. If Malfoy was at the dance, which she doubted he would be, she could give it back to him and the sooner she got that over with the better.

"Hi Hermione" said a voice and she turned to find herself looking at Fred and George Weasely, both of whom had girls on their arms who Hermione didn't recognise

"Fred! George!" said Hermione "wow, it's great to see you"

"Likewise" said Fred "you look great, Hermione. How are the N.E.W.T's coming along?"

"Its hard work" Hermione admitted "listen, have you seen Malfoy around at all?"

George scowled "yeah, I have actually. Looking pretty sorry for himself, isn't he?"

"Isn't he a Death Eater?" piped up the girl clinging to Fred's arm

"He was" said Hermione at once "he isn't anymore"

"Once a Death Eater always a Death Eater if you ask me" said the girl "and they let him back to school? Tell me if you see him again Fred, I don't want to get near any Death Eaters, thank you"

Hermione chose to ignore this "where did you see him, George?"

"Sitting on his own, over by the buffet table"

"Thank you" said Hermione and she strolled across the room, her dress billowing behind her. Malfoy was indeed, sitting alone. He looked up as she approached

"Your diary" she said stiffly, holding it out to him. He didn't take it "I don't want it, thanks" she added

"Neither do I. Keep it"

"I'm only going to throw it in the bin" said Hermione

"Doesn't bother me" said Malfoy. He took a sip from the glass of Firewhisky he was holding "you look nice, by the way"

"I… what?" said Hermione, thrown off guard by this uncharacteristic compliment

"I said you look nice"

"Yes, well…" Hermione managed

"Look, I'm sorry, alright" Malfoy went on "for yelling at you, telling you that I don't like you"

"Well you don't" said Hermione at once

"I didn't like anyone much before I decided to have a go at making things right. Looks like I'm failing at that as well as my N.E.W.T's"

"Dropping hints about your N.E.W.T's is not going to make me agree to help you again"

"I don't expect you to" replied Malfoy. Hermione gathered up her dress and took the seat next to him "look, Malfoy" she said, her tone softening "you have changed, I know you've changed and you're not a failure" she looked at him. She didn't think she had ever seen him looking so unhappy. He drained his glass and poured himself another

"Getting drunk won't help though" said Hermione

"I'm not getting drunk" Malfoy said. He examined the glass in his hand "I don't suppose we could start again? I don't care if you don't want to give me help with my revision anymore. It's just I've got enough people hating me at the moment; I don't want you to as well, although I wouldn't blame you if you did. Maybe we could be…" he broke off

"Friends?" said Hermione, a small smile on her face

"Whatever" said Malfoy "I don't expect you to start hanging round with me or anything, though. I'm fine on my own"

"It doesn't look like it to me" said Hermione softly "you really don't have to be alone all the time, Draco"

Malfoy looked up. Hermione did not know why she used his first name – because it was more personal? Because she was trying to make him see he had a friend, not just someone he could use to help him pass his N.E.W.T's? Make him realise that there was someone who cared. And Hermione did care, she cared a lot despite what Ron said and how angry she had been, she still cared.

"You know" said Malfoy, setting down his glass "you're the only one who bothers to speak to me in this school. Just don't…don't think I don't appreciate it, that's all" several moments of silence followed. Hermione poured herself a glass of pumpkin juice. She wasn't thirsty; she just needed something to do. She watched the couples on the dance floor. The band had just struck up a slow tune.

"So, Granger" Malfoy started "are we going to sit here, doing nothing together all night?"

"What?" said Hermione

"Because I haven't got a partner and it looks like you don't either"

"Are you asking me to dance, Malfoy?" said Hermione, astonished

"Might be" said Malfoy, smirking

"If this is a joke…"

"No joke. Honestly" he said, holding out his hand. Hermione could see Lavender and Parvati watching her closely from across the Great Hall. Grinning, Hermione took Malfoy's hand and allowed him to lead her towards the other dancers. A lot of people paused mid-dance to stare as they made their way across the floor.

"You're not a bad dancer, Malfoy" said Hermione, acutely aware of the hand settled upon her waist

"You're not either, Granger" said Malfoy. Ron caught Hermione's eye as he waltzed past with Hannah Abbot. He looked furious. Hermione shook her head at him over Malfoy's shoulder. Ron was not going to spoil this now.

Hermione was careful at first, wary but as the song continued, she felt herself relaxing. She had thought it would be strange dancing with Draco Malfoy, being this close to him with everyone looking at her. But it wasn't and this surprised her. She felt at ease with him and after a short while, she forgot that she was in a room packed with people. It was just her and Draco, his arms around her waist, her hand in his. She did not think she had ever met a more confusing person, but now there was something endearing about the man holding her.

The song ended all too soon and they broke apart gently. There wasn't a trace of embarrassment on Malfoy's face. He smiled at her. Not a smirk but a genuine smile.

"Thank you for the dance, Malfoy" said Hermione "it was lovely"

"Weasley doesn't seem to think so"

Hermione turned. Ron was striding towards them "what do you think you're doing, Malfoy?" he said heatedly

"Dancing" Malfoy replied calmly "got a problem with that?"

"Leave him alone, Ron" said Hermione

"No" said Ron "I've had enough of you, Malfoy. Hermione's already told you she doesn't want to tutor you anymore. What did you think; that she would give you more help with your N.E.W.T's if you all of a sudden started being nice to her? I've told you, Hermione, he's using you and he has been all along"

"I can look after myself, Ron! You spoilt the Yule Ball last time for me and now you're doing it again! When are you going to realise that we're not going out anymore? You're just jealous, Ron!" the words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. Ron looked affronted, almost sad "fine, Hermione" he said blankly and walked away from her.

Hermione ran from Malfoy and fled from the Great Hall. Why did she always have to cry?

"Hermione…"

"Ron! Go away!" but it wasn't Ron who had come running after her. It was Draco. She didn't even bother to wipe away her tears this time and before she knew it, he was holding her close and her tears were dripping onto his robes and he was leading her up the stairs, towards a blank stretch of stone wall on the seventh floor.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note – I'm warning all my readers now, I am absolutely terrible at writing fluff and it gets pretty fluffy at this point! Let me know what you think ******

"In here" said Malfoy, pushing open the door to the Room of Requirement as it materialised. There was a comfortable, wide sofa with lots of cushions and blankets, a roaring fire and a cabinet of drinks.

"Why have you brought me here, Malfoy?" said Hermione

"Thought you needed to get away from Weasley" said Malfoy, pouring them both a drink. Hermione sat down on the sofa, took her own glass of Firewhisky and sipped it "he always makes things so hard for me" she said "it's like he thinks he owns me"

"It looks to me like he's still in love with you" said Malfoy evenly "can't let go. I have no idea what you saw in him in the first place, to be honest"

"We've been friends for a long time" Hermione replied "it was inevitable it was going to happen and I do love Ron and I imagine I always will. I'm just not in love with him. He can't seem to grasp that" it was surreal, she reflected, sitting here in the Room of Requirement, spilling out all her secrets and thoughts to Draco Malfoy. And the way she had broken down in front of him! Her cheeks went slightly pink as she remembered crying into his shirt.

"People like him don't deserve people like you" said Malfoy quietly

"That's a nice thing to say, Draco" said Hermione. He sat down next to her.

"Make the most of it; I don't give out compliments often"

"I must be special then" smiled Hermione. Oh gosh…what was she doing? Was she actually _flirting_ with Draco Malfoy?

"What are you going to do about Weasley then?" said Draco offhandedly

"Nothing" said Hermione

"Have the Golden Trio broken up?"

"Not quite" said Hermione, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth "Ron will come round…I just wish he would get over me. I feel sorry for him, he's so sweet he really is I just –"Don't feel the same way about him as he does about you?" finished Draco

"Yes. Yes I suppose" said Hermione, fiddling with a sequin on her dress. She stood up abruptly "thank you, Draco, for listening, but I have to go"

"Why do you have to go?" said Draco, leaving his seat too

"I'll see you again when term starts" said Hermione sensibly "we have a lot to go over before you're ready to take your N.EW.T's and there's one particular History of Magic essay that…" she trailed off, any unfinished instructions about some pointless History of Magic essay swiftly leaving her mind as Draco's silvery eyes met her own. He was looking at her closely, intensely and for one fleeting second, she thought he might be about to kiss her.

"You don't have to go yet" said Draco "the ball won't be over yet…its hours until curfew"

"I…I…" Hermione stuttered.

"I what?" said Draco "can't stay here and talk to me? Can't stay up late because you've got revision, can't stay with me because you feel bad on Weasley? What is it?"

"This has nothing to do with Ron" said Hermione, finding her voice "or revision"

Draco took a step towards her "Hermione…"

Hermione looked at him confusedly "what happened to Granger?"

Draco moved closer and reached out a hand, placing it on her cheek. Hermione took a step backwards

"It is Weasley, isn't it?" said Draco "you still care about him"

"I can't do this. I'm sorry" Hermione muttered and tears spilling down her cheeks, she rushed from the Room of Requirement and didn't stop until she reached her dormitory, leaving Draco behind, angrily wiping away the dampness in his own eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

Hermione did not think she had ever felt more confused or upset in her entire life. Draco was right, she did still care about Ron…she wasn't in love with him anymore, that was evident, so why did she feel as though she had cheated on him by almost kissing Draco?

Perhaps she was still in love with Ron, maybe she just didn't realise it. He did, after all love _her_. And he was kind, and caring…a little over-protective sometimes, a bit irritating maybe, but he was safe, reassuring. She knew where she stood with Ron.

But Draco, there was a certain appeal to him now and Hermione was sensible enough to know why. He was dangerous, unpredictable…exciting. Did this make her as promiscuous as Lavender and Parvati? Was she a hypocrite now? Wasn't she constantly telling her girlfriends, the few of them that she had – not to fall for the boys who would do them no good? Wasn't she always telling them to go for the safe ones, the ones who wouldn't hurt them?

She had hurt Ron. She had broken Ron's heart and he was still friends with her, often acting as though nothing had happened between them but she knew he was crying inside. She did feel guilty, she felt awful about it but there was nothing she could do. That spark just wasn't there anymore. She wasn't even sure if it was there to start with.

There was a spark with Draco, she thought. That leaping feeling she got in her stomach when he approached her in the Room of Requirement – but surely it was nothing more than lust for she knew she could never, ever have Draco Malfoy. The mere idea of it was ridiculous. Draco Malfoy, the Slytherin, Muggleborn hater and Hermione Granger, the Gryffindor, the Muggleborn.

What was going to happen now? Would their tutoring sessions continue, or would Draco be too insulted, too hurt for them to carry on? She wanted them to carry on, she didn't just want to leave it, she couldn't. She wanted Draco near to her, she wanted to spend time with him, and it was then, that Hermione Granger realised that she was slowly, undeniably falling for Draco Malfoy.

"Ron?" Hermione was jogging along behind Ron as they made their way to the greenhouses, Harry running alongside her "Ron please, will you just talk to me?"

"Hermione, leave it" said Harry "he's upset"

"Oh really? I hadn't realised!" Hermione retorted but added hastily "I'm sorry Harry, I just…how long is he going to keep this up for?"

"Well," Harry began "you embarrassed him in front of the whole school, not to mention in front of countless Order members and teachers, told him quite plainly that you didn't love him anymore and then disappeared from the Great Hall with Draco Malfoy. I'd say quite a while"

Hermione came to a halt and watched Ron vanish into the greenhouses "I have apologised" she said hoisting her bag further up her shoulder "I don't see what else I can do to fix this"

"You know what you could do" said Harry

"I'm not getting back together with Ron, Harry" said Hermione exasperatedly "It just doesn't work between us"

"Hermione?"

Hermione turned. Draco was striding purposefully towards her and, ignoring Harry said "I have to talk to you"

"Leave me alone, Draco" said Hermione, not quite meeting his gaze "I'm very busy and I'm about to be late for Herbology. I'll come and see you at dinner to discuss your coursework"

"This isn't about my stupid coursework"

"I'm sorry Draco it will have to wait" Hermione raised her head and felt a pang of guilt as she saw the flash of hurt upon Draco's face, but it disappeared almost instantly.

"Come _on_, Harry" and, seizing Harry by the wrist, she dragged him off towards the greenhouses. She looked back very briefly and saw Draco making his way slowly back towards the castle. Why had she been so snappy with him? What was_ wrong_ with her?

"Ok we've got a lot on today so dragonhide gloves on please. Mr Thomas, will you please be so kind as to not prod the Venomous Tentacula. I do not want to have your parents coming to the school asking for a reason why you have no fingers left. Mr Longbottom, hand out these papers, please. I want a detailed diagram of this Flutterby Bush…yes, yes I know we've been over these but this is _revision_, so if you please, get started at once"

Hermione wasn't paying much attention to Professor Sprout. Her mind was drifting back to Draco, as it so often did when she was in lessons. And In the common room. And at breakfast in the Great Hall. And at lunch. And at dinner. Pretty much most of the time, actually. Her vacant expression did not go unnoticed by Harry who gave her a gentle poke in the arm and said "listen, Hermione. Don't worry about Ron, honestly. You know what he's like…"

"Ron?" said Hermione vaguely "oh, yes Ron. Oh I know. It's fine, Harry, I'm sure the whole thing will blow over soon enough"

Ron was sitting with Neville, Seamus and Dean, refusing to look at Hermione and making a right mess of his Flutterby Bush diagram from what Hermione could see from where she was sitting. Hermione couldn't deny that she was distracted too. She mislabelled several of the plants parts and had to take out a fresh piece of parchment and start again. The end of the lesson rolled round and Hermione, sighing wearily, scribbled one last annotation onto her diagram, left the greenhouses and headed to dinner with Harry.

"So what do you think Malfoy wanted to speak to you about if it had nothing to do with coursework?"

"Don't ask me how Draco Malfoy's mind works, Harry" said Hermione airily

"You know," began Harry carefully "I'm starting to think there's something going on between you two…"

Hermione forced a laugh "honestly Harry, what on earth –"

"Where did he take you when you left the Yule Ball? I saw you two going up the staircase together. What was he doing, _comforting _you?"

"No" said Hermione shortly "he had to go to the study room to get some coursework he left behind in there and it just so happened we were going in the same direction. I went to my dormitory and went to sleep" Hermione realised just how unbelievable this excuse was and Harry seemed to be thinking along the same lines.

"Whatever you say, Hermione" said Harry, shaking his head and frowning "I'm going to find Ron; he's probably not feeling too cheerful at the moment, funnily enough. I'll see you later, unless you've got another study session with Malfoy" and he walked away from her in the direction of the Gryffindor table.

Hermione wasn't bothered about Harry's indifference, his siding with Ron. She was more concerned with Draco, who wasn't at the Slytherin table at dinner. It was practically empty, save for Pansy Parkinson and a few of her friends.

"Oh we've had a sort of relationship going since we were in first year" Pansy's voice drifted towards Hermione as she passed the Slytherin table "of course, we've pretty much been just friends until now"

"That's great, Pansy" said a Slytherin fifth year girl "you two have always had chemistry, I knew it was only a matter of time before you got together"

"I know" said Pansy smugly "well, I should go. Draco is probably waiting for me in our common room"

And she flounced off, shooting Hermione a nasty look as she left the Great Hall.

"Who's she talking about?" said Hermione stiffly to the Slytherin girls. They looked at her curiously

"What's it to you? Worried that Pansy will interfere with those little study sessions you and Draco have got going?" said Millicent Bulstrode. The other girls snickered "I'm sure you're enjoying those, aren't you Granger?"

"Shut up" said Hermione whose temper had been on breaking point for most of the day and was now bubbling to the surface and threatening to explode

"Ooooh!" sneered the girls in unison "do you fancy Draco, Granger?" said Millicent scathingly "are you jealous that he wants Pansy instead of a filthy Mudblood like you?"

"I'd rather be a Mudblood than the daughter of a Death Eater" said Hermione. Millicent leapt to her feet and drew her wand but not before Hermione had done the same.

"Girls!" Professor McGonagall came hurrying down the aisle between the Slytherin and Gryffindor tables, looking furious "Miss Granger! This is the second time I have had to warn you about your behaviour this year, I do not know what is wrong with you recently. Go and sit at the Gryffindor table. Miss Bulstrode, you will put that wand away before I place you in detention! Ten points from both Gryffindor and Slytherin!"

Hermione did not go and sit at the Gryffindor table, but fled from the Great Hall with tears in her eyes again, not because she had been scolded by Professor McGonagall, or lost ten points for her house, or because Millicent Bulstrode had called her a Mudblood, but because she had pushed Draco away, pushed him right into the arms of Pansy fucking Parkinson.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N – Thanks for the reviews everyone, I really appreciate them. **

**Quite a short chapter here. I'm pretty much writing this story as I go along, so bear with me!**

Hermione had never been much of a tearful person, oh she got upset often, that was true but before she had become…_involved_ with Draco Malfoy, she very rarely found herself in tears. During the past few weeks she had cried more than she had ever cried in her life. She was angry with Draco, she was angry with Ron but perhaps most of all, she was angry with herself for being so ridiculous.

Draco wasn't her boyfriend; they weren't even seeing each other…he was quite entitled to date whoever he wanted, including Pansy Parkinson. But she felt almost cheated and now, now she knew how Ron felt.

Did Draco really have feelings for Pansy, or was he doing this to get back at her for being so haughty and insensitive? It was the type of thing Draco Malfoy would do…but he had _changed_, hadn't he? Hermione had witnessed that for herself. The Draco Malfoy she had known these past years had disappeared and in his place was a sensitive, regretful and lonely Draco Malfoy who was ready to make a fresh start…ready to make friends.

And she was his friend and she had a distinct impression that Draco thought of her as such – until now. She was aware of how fragile he was, how hard he was finding it to trust people, and to gain the trust of others. Why had she thrown everything back in his face?

She avoided the probing questions from Harry and Ginny, who seemed to be becoming quite worried about her and consequentially, she had started to spend a lot of time on her own, mainly in the study room, inside the cubicle she and Draco had so often occupied before everything had gone so drastically wrong.

She could have easily done her revision in her dormitory or in the common room, but a tiny part of her was hoping that Draco would turn up too. She knew it was wishful thinking, false hope, but still maybe, just maybe he would come searching for her and she knew that this very well may be one of the places he would look.

Pansy had been gloating to anyone who would listen about how she had melted the icy heart of the Slytherin outcast, saying how cheerful he was now she had extended him a hand of friendship, how she was slowly helping him back on his feet and helping him pass his N.E.W.T's.

Hermione thought this was a load of rubbish because the Draco Malfoy she saw in the corridors, in lessons and in the Great Hall looked more sullen and depressed than ever. He was often held back after class by the teachers, who had been warning him about his abysmal efforts in his studies and Hermione had the distinct impression that he had given up on his education altogether. He just didn't seem to care anymore.

A week later, Hermione was sitting at the Gryffindor table, eating her way slowly through a bowl of sugary porridge while Ginny sat next to her giving her sympathetic looks and asking if she 'wanted to talk'.

"No Ginny. I'm fine" Hermione replied for what felt like the fifth time that morning "its exam stress, that's all. You know how important my exam results are to me"

The post owls swooped down across the Great Hall, dropping parcels and letters onto the tables before their various addressees. A tawny owl landed neatly next to Hermione's bowl, clutching that morning's _Daily Prophet_ in its beak. Depositing a Knut into the pouch on its leg, she unfolded the paper and glanced at the front page with little interest, only to drop her spoon and clap a hand to her mouth.

"What's wrong?" said Ginny, leaning across to look at the headline "oh" she said softly

"I have to go" said Hermione shakily, getting to her feet and shoving books and sheets of parchment haphazardly into her bag

"Hermione, what –" but Ginny didn't get to finish her sentence, for Hermione was already sprinting from the Great Hall, hair flying madly, cloak billowing behind her as she raced towards the Slytherin Common Room.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N – Thanks for all the lovely reviews everyone, especially AlinaintheSky who always writes really helpful ones!**

**I wrote this chapter pretty quickly so tell me what you all think by clicking the review button ******

What Hermione had not thought of in her haste and desperation, was how she was actually going to get _into_ the Slytherin Common Room. She knew where it was, she had known that since Harry and Ron had sneaked in there during their second year. Locating a means of actual entry was going to prove difficult.

She collapsed against the dungeon wall, breathing hard and wondering what she planned on doing next. It would be pointless to attempt to use magic to gain entry into the Common Room and she had no idea what the password was.

Maybe she should just wait until she saw Draco next…no, that wouldn't work. She had to see him now. She looked at her watch. Classes would be starting soon, she had Herbology, but Draco wasn't in that lesson…if only she knew his timetable –

"What are _you_ doing here?"

Hermione turned just in time to see the wall slide shut behind Pansy Parkinson, a look of indignation on her face. She looked as though she had been crying

"Where's Draco?" Hermione demanded. Pansy gave her a withering look and went to walk past her but Hermione grabbed her "where is Draco?" she repeated. Pansy looked at the hand on her arm as though it was a particularly nasty stain upon her robes

"Wouldn't you like to know?" she said mockingly, wrenching her arm from Hermione's grasp. Hermione had no patience for Pansy's games. She withdrew her wand.

"Tell me. Now"

"I wouldn't do that if I were you" Pansy said dangerously, whipping out her own wand. The two girls stood there for several moments, staring at each other, wands at the ready.

"What's wrong, Parkinson?" said Hermione "Draco dumped you? Or were you just spouting a load of bullshit in the Great Hall last week?"

Pansy tightened her grip on her wand "I've been trying to help him" she said softly. She paused "Draco loves me….he always has done, he just didn't realise it. I've made him see that he does"

"So you've been taking advantage of his emotions recently to get him to _like _you? Coercing him into dating you? Even I didn't think you would stoop that low, Pansy" interrupted Hermione "you silly cow. You want him as some sort of trophy, don't you? I've heard you showing off in the corridors to all your stupid friends –"

"I love him!" Pansy bellowed "you don't understand what I've been through with him! We are supposed to be together!"

"You're crazy" Hermione told her firmly

"Love makes you do crazy things" Pansy replied

"You're not in love with Draco. If you were, if you really loved him, you would be thinking about him right now, rather than yourself, you'd be doing everything you could to find him! You don't know what being in love with someone means!"

BANG

Hermione was thrown from her feet, landing with a painful thump against the stone wall of the dungeons, her wand flying from her hand and landing several metres away.

"Stupid Mudblood" Pansy hissed, striding towards where Hermione lay "you have no idea what you're talking about"

Hermione feigned half-consciousness. Pansy was not going to win this fight…

"You and stupid Potter…strolling around this school, thinking you're so_ brave _and _noble_ because you helped the Order finish off Voldemort! You're nothing, Granger, nothing but a stupid know-it-all, sidekick to the Great Harry fucking Potter –"

Hermione rolled sideways, scooped up her wand and pushed herself upright. Pansy looked startled for a moment, took a step backwards and shot a curse at her which missed and hit a lantern which shattered, showering them both in fragments of glass.

"_STUPEFY!"_ yelled Hermione but Pansy dodged the spell and threw herself behind a suit of armour before shooting a disarming spell at Hermione which bounced off the stone wall, ricocheted off the floor and smashed another lantern, throwing the dungeon into half-darkness. Hermione ran to the wall and pressed her back against it.

"I thought Gryffindors were meant to be brave, Granger" taunted Pansy, creeping out from her own hiding place "why are you hiding?"

Hermione leapt forwards, raised her wand and before Pansy could react, yelled _"EXPELLIARMUS!"_

Pansy was knocked from her feet and Hermione caught the wand that flew from her hand before walking slowly towards her. Pointing her own wand at Pansy, she said "looks like I won, doesn't it Pans'?"

Pansy glared at her.

"Now, where is Draco, hmm?"

"He's gone" she said, tears welling up in her eyes "he's left…he's gone to Azkaban to collect his mother's body. He told me…he told me he didn't…didn't love me, I said…I told him I'd go with him but he said he had to go alone…he's not coming back, he's not coming back to school"

"But his N.E.W.T's…" said Hermione quietly

"Is that all you ever think about, exams?" said Pansy, gingerly feeling the back of her head and wiping her tears away with her sleeve

"Shut up. How long ago did he leave?"

"Hours ago…this morning, when the paper came"

"Where is he going, after Azkaban?"

"I don't know! He didn't tell me!"

"How did he look…was he upset?"

"Yes….I suppose, I don't know – look, what – where are you going?"

"Where do you think I'm going?" snapped Hermione "after him, of course. Like you said Pansy," she added, about to turn the corner "love makes you do crazy things"


	10. Chapter 10

Hermione did not tell Harry or Ron where she was going. She wasn't going to tell anybody, but thinking it would not be best to just disappear from Hogwarts, she left a note in the staff room for Professor McGonagall, ensuring her that she would be back, she hadn't left permanently and was still going to take her N.E.W.T's.

She packed a rucksack, pulled on her travelling cloak and made her way to the gates where, once beyond the school grounds, she could Apparate.

She appeared with a loud CRACK, in an enormous and bleary courtyard in the middle of the North Sea. Azkaban leered above her, unwelcoming and cold and Hermione could already feel the power of the Dementors overwhelming her. Several of them were gliding around the prison walls, sucking at the frozen air. Hermione shivered.

This was a stupid idea…she should never have come. Draco hadn't wanted anyone to follow him, probably least of all her…she had spoiled everything…he didn't love her…he didn't even like her, maybe he was just using her all along, maybe he really didn't care at all and only asked her to be his friend because he wanted to pass his N.E.W.T's…perhaps he really was in love with Pansy. And what about _her_ N.E.W.T's? She had been so distracted recently, she knew she wasn't making as much of an effort as she should be, what if she failed? What if she failed all her exams, and had to leave Hogwarts with no qualifications? What would she do then? And Ron, what was she going to do about Ron?

No, this was the Dementors making her feel this way…she mustn't go to pieces, not now.

A guard, mercifully, a wizard, was standing in a booth a few feet away, a Patronus gambolling around him. Hermione made her way over, conjuring her own silver otter Patronus as she went. Instantly, the air felt warmer and the despair she had felt moments before was fading slowly away.

"Can I help?" said the wizard.

"I'm here to see Narcissa Malfoy" she said convincingly. The wizard frowned and picked up a sheaf of parchment

"Narcissa Malfoy is dead" he said "she died this morning"

"I know" replied Hermione "that's why I'm here"

The wizard looked at her suspiciously "someone already arrived to collect the body, her son"

"I'm here for…for moral support" said Hermione "it's very important I do this, please?"

The guard peered at her sympathetically "I'm sorry miss, I can't help you. Look, shouldn't you be at school? This isn't a nice place for a young girl like you to be. Azkaban isn't pretty"

"If you could just give me five minutes, five minutes to find him, Mrs. Malfoy's son…" Hermione pleaded

"Its fine" It was Draco. He walked slowly from the gates and across the courtyard. His Patronus, a silver eagle, was soaring along beside him "she's with me"

Hermione started forwards, ready to run into his arms, comfort him, but stopped herself. Instead, she said, very quietly "I'm sorry, Draco"

"What did you come running after me for? You're meant to be at school –"

"Where's your mother?" said Hermione, avoiding the question

"Inside. I came out here for some fresh air…Hermione, this is ridiculous, go back"

"No" said Hermione resolutely "I don't want you to do this on your own"

"Did it occur to you that maybe I do? Maybe I don't want to be pitied by you, maybe I don't want your sympathies. Did you think of that before you came out here?" said Draco, his voice rising an octave "you can't help me with this Hermione. You can't fix this"

"Why do you always think you have to do everything alone, Draco? Why do you push away everyone's affections?"

"Like you did, when I came to you by the greenhouses?"

"I was…I was angry, confused…I didn't mean to be so insensitive" said Hermione in a hushed voice "I do care about you, I care about you a lot…I didn't mean for you to...to think that I didn't"

Draco ran his hand wearily through his hair "I needed a friend, a _friend_, that's all. You made the whole thing more complicated than it needed to be"

"Complicated?" said Hermione exasperatedly "it was you who made everything complicated, coming onto me in the Room of Requirement! Is that all I am to you, then? A friend?" she added.

Draco threw his arms into the air in frustration "I don't know, Hermione! For Merlin's sake…yes, you're a friend"

"And I suppose that's all I can hope for right now, isn't it?"

"You're such a typical _woman_!" Draco told her "you're making something out of nothing"

"Nothing?" said Hermione in a very small voice

"I can't do this right now" said Draco "I've got to sort things out… get my mother's body, arrange the funeral… not that anyone will come"

"I'll come" said Hermione

Draco gave a mirthless laugh "whatever you expect me to be, Hermione, I'm not. I won't make you happy, I won't be there for you - you think I've changed? Yeah, I suppose I have, but I'm still an arrogant arsehole who doesn't give a shit about anyone else except myself"

"Don't give me that 'you deserve better' crap" said Hermione "I think I know what is best for me, thank you"

Draco took a step forwards and placed his hands gently on her arms "I want you to go back to Hogwarts. I want you to go, now. I have other things on my mind apart from you at the moment"

"No" said Hermione, shaking her head and folding her arms "_No_. I won't leave you"

"I don't need you, Hermione! I don't need anyone!" said Draco forcefully

"I think you do. You might believe that you don't, but that's because you've never given anyone the chance to be there for you. You've never let anyone in"

Draco sighed angrily "you're not going to let this go, are you?"

"No"

"Are you two going in?" said the guard, poking his head through the window of the booth to look at them "we need to lock the gates"

"Yes, yes I'm going in" said Draco and made his way towards the entrance. Hermione followed.

"Get lost, Granger" said Draco

"Not going to work, Draco" said Hermione and as the gates clanged shut behind them, Draco slipped his hand in Hermione's own, quite unexpectedly, and gave it a little squeeze, the pair of them walking purposefully through the huge iron doors and into the dreary, cold atmosphere of Azkaban.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N It gets a bit depressing at this point and I don't like writing sad stuff really so hopefully there's a happy chapter to come after this one!**

Narcissa Malfoy lay upon a bed, her blonde hair splayed out on the pillow. Hermione, who had seen this woman duelling with members of the Order, who had seen her once so full of rage and determination, could hardly believe how peaceful she looked.

She was a beautiful woman, Hermione could not deny that, with her long, silvery blonde hair and flawless skin but she had played such a major part in the war – in battling against the Order, helping Voldemort to remain powerful - Hermione wasn't sure how she felt about her death.

Draco sank into the chair next to the bed. He didn't say anything for a long while and Hermione could not discern how he may be feeling from his expression.

"How did she…how did she…" he started.

The Healer, who had been summoned to Azkaban from St. Mungo's, said very quietly "she went peacefully. The Dementors weaken many people…her grief about your father…it became too much for her"

Draco nodded stiffly.

"I'll give you a moment" said the Healer and she left, shutting the door gently behind her.

"She wasn't as bad as everyone thought you know" said Draco, his eyes upon his mother's face "she wasn't a bad mother…she was strict, but she was often kind. To me, anyway. She just wanted to please my father, that's all she ever wanted. She was devoted to him"

Hermione took several tentative steps towards him and, hesitating slightly, placed a hand on his shoulder, hoping that her touch could convey everything she wanted to say for she could find no words that would make this any easier, less painful.

"She deserved to be in Azkaban" said Draco "I know that and I knew, I knew that she would die here. I just…I didn't think it would be so soon. She was a fool," Draco went on, a trace of resentment in his tone now "a stupid woman who fell for the wrong man…that was her mistake. She was mislead, that's all"

"Draco –" Hermione saw tears welling up in his eyes and she felt a pang of affection for him.. Never, ever before had she seen Draco looking so defeated, so sad. Never had she seen him cry.

"It'll be alright" she soothed, taking his hand "it'll be ok" and before she knew it, he was in her arms and she was holding him close while he sobbed quietly into her cloak, her arms wrapped around him, tears seeping from her own eyes.

They remained like that for several minutes until Draco pushed her away, looking furious with himself. "I'm going…I'm going to take her away from here" he said, getting sharply to his feet "it's the Dementors, they make you feel terrible –"

"Don't make excuses for yourself" said Hermione "you feel terrible because you've just lost the only family member you had left"

"It doesn't matter! She was a nasty, evil cow, Hermione. You and I both know that. She_ killed_ countless people from the Order, she helped my father to help Voldemort!" said Draco fiercely

"Whatever she did, she was still your mother" said Hermione "she was all you had. But," she added "you'll always have me, from now on"

"No I won't" Draco replied hastily "you'll get sick of me soon enough. I'll push you away, I'll make you hate me. You won't like me forever, Hermione. Nobody does. That's just the way things are"

"How about you let me decide that one?" said Hermione

"It won't work" said Draco dully "people like you aren't meant to be with people like me. People like you are meant to –"

"Be with people like Ron?" finished Hermione "yeah, I thought that. Until I realised what an idiot he can be"

Draco smirked very slightly "finally caught up, have you?"

"Oh he's nice enough and everything, he would make a girl very happy. I'm just not that girl"

Silence fell between them and it continued for several minutes until Draco walked towards the door and said in a hollow voice "I would like for you to be there. At the funeral, unless…unless you don't want to"

Hermione nodded "I'll be there, Draco"

The funeral was held a week later, in the graveyard where Lucius Malfoy was buried. Hermione and Draco were the only ones present which made the whole experience even more saddening than it already was.

The same wizard who had been there at Dumbledore's funeral said a few words and then Draco was invited to say something, but he shook his head. He clasped Hermione's hand as Narcissa's coffin was lowered into the ground, next to her beloved husband. Draco wasn't crying, he hadn't cried at all during the funeral, just gazed solemnly at his mother's grave, regret and loss etched upon his face.

"Thank you" he said as they walked hand in hand through the graveyard "for being there, Hermione"

"Are you alright?" said Hermione quietly which was a silly question really, she thought.

Draco didn't give her an answer "I'm off to the Leaky Cauldron" he said "I've got a room booked there, somewhere to stay until I sort myself out"

"You're not going back to school?"

"I knew you'd say that. No, I'm not. I can't wait to get away from that place to be honest"

"But your N.E.W.T's…"

"Screw my N.E.W.T's" said Draco "I can't be bothered with it all anymore"

"How do you expect to get anywhere without qualifications?" said Hermione, letting go of Draco's hand and coming to a stop on the pavement outside the graveyard gates "you won't be able to get a job. Don't be ridiculous, Draco. The school year is nearly over, just take your exams and then leave"

"Fancy a drink?" Draco replied

"I…what? A drink?" said Hermione who had been about to launch into a full scale rant, detailing all the reasons why Draco should go back to school and take his N.E.W.T's

"Well I don't know when I'll be able to see you again" he said. When Hermione didn't say anything, he said "it doesn't matter. Look, I just want to say thanks. For everything, all the help you gave me…for coming to my mother's funeral. It might not seem like it sometimes, but I do appreciate everything you've done for me, really I do" he bent forwards and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek "I'll send you an owl or something…when I'm sorted"

Hermione smiled and then walked straight past him, strolling down the street.

"Where are you bloody going?" said Draco confusedly

"I thought we were going for a drink" said Hermione, stopping and turning round "well, are you coming or not?"

Draco ran forwards and caught up with her, catching hold of her hand again "knew you'd see sense, Granger" he said and Hermione reached up and returned the kiss he had placed on her cheek, the pair of them walking companionably together down the street, on their way to the Leaky Cauldron.


	12. Chapter 12

The Leaky Cauldron was practically empty. Tom the elderly landlord, was standing behind the bar, wiping out glasses and a small group of four or so warlocks were huddled by the fireplace, smoking pipes and conversing in hushed tones.

Hermione seated herself at a table by the window while Draco went and bought their drinks. Placing two Firewhisky's down on the table, he said "I didn't know what you wanted; I know you don't really drink…"

"Firewhisky is fine" said Hermione taking a sip "so what are you going to do?"

"I've already told you what I'm doing" replied Draco "school isn't where I want to be right now. When I left to go to Azkaban last week, I never intended to go back. I've got a bit of gold in Gringotts, enough to survive on for a while"

Hermione looked at him sceptically

"Look, Hermione even if I did get enough N.E.W.T's to get a job at the Ministry or something, no employer is going to want me. It won't make any difference if I get all Outstandings in my N.E.W.T's. I'm still an ex-Death Eater" said Draco and to Hermione's astonishment, he yanked back his shirt sleeve and showed her the Dark Mark, tattooed onto his left forearm "see?"

"But…but you work for the Order now!" Hermione stuttered

"So what? You've seen how people treat me at school, what makes you think its going to be any different elsewhere?"

"Draco please, you can't go out into the adult world with no N.E.W.T's. You're not thinking sensibly because you've just lost your mother…you're upset -"

"This has nothing, _nothing _to do with my mother" Draco told her firmly

"Where do you plan to live?" said Hermione "on the streets?"

"Don't be stupid"

"You have no idea what you're going to do, do you?"

"You spend so much time worrying about other people, Hermione. Do you know what _you're _going to do?"

"Pass my N.E.W.T's and get a job of course! I may move into Grimmauld Place with Harry for a while, until I have enough gold saved up –"

"Ah of course. Potter."

"Yes," said Hermione "unless you wanted to…I don't know, work together to find somewhere"

"You mean move in with you?" said Draco "don't be thick, Hermione"

"Well it would solve your problem! You could stay with me until you found a place of your own…if we put our gold together we might have enough to rent a place"

"I can manage fine by myself" said Draco, draining his glass "do you want another?" he asked even though Hermione's glass was still half full

"No thank you" she said, staring out of the window at the crowds of Muggles making their way down the busy London street.

"Don't be all offended, it's nothing personal" said Draco

"I'm not offended" said Hermione truthfully "I understand but I think you're making the wrong decision. You could really do with some help right now, Draco"

"Yeah well…" he replied, leaving the sentence unfinished as he went to the bar and ordered another Firewhisky.

Hermione wasn't entirely sure what made her offer Draco a place to live. It was a spur of the moment decision and she knew, deep down that he would never agree. She just wanted him to know that there was someone who wanted to help, who genuinely cared. She wanted him to know that the offer was there, that she was there, if he needed her.

In reality, could she really see herself living with Draco Malfoy, even if it was only temporary? If someone had said that to her a month ago, she would have asked if they'd fallen off their broomstick and had a bump to the head. Now though, it seemed entirely possible.

Draco returned to the table with his drink "It's getting late, you should probably go back to school soon" he said, although with little conviction

"Yes, and you're coming with me" said Hermione

"We've been through this Hermione –"

"I know but you're coming back to Hogwarts, even if I have to stupefy you and drag you back myself"

"You're unbelievable"

Hermione shrugged "I wasn't joking about that stupefying you know" she said

Draco looked at her, took a mouthful of Firewhisky and sighed "I'll take my N.E.W.T's, but that's it. Once they're over, I'm going. I won't be staying for the leaving feast or anything like that…"

Hermione smiled "Floo Powder it is then?" she said, leading the way over to the fireplace.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N – I know I've been really slow updating this story! Hopefully I'll try and update more often now!**

**Disclaimer – I don't own Harry Potter**

"Miss Granger?" said Professor McGonagall tautly as Hermione materialised in her office fireplace "do you care to explain yourself?"

Hermione dusted herself off just as Draco appeared behind her

"Professor, I'm sorry –"

"And Mr Malfoy as well" said McGonagall, cutting Hermione off "I received your note, Miss Granger, although it was lacking in any explanation as to why you found it necessary to leave Hogwarts in the middle of the night. You have both been absent from school for a week"

"Professor –"

"Mr Malfoy I am aware of your circumstances" said McGonagall, glancing at Draco over the top of her spectacles "I am sorry for your loss" she added, her tone a little softer "you are fortunate, Miss Granger that I did not alert the Magical Law Enforcement Squad to call a search for you. It is not acceptable for students to abscond from school without prior consent from a parent, guardian or teacher"

"I know Professor" said Hermione humbly "I left because…because I went to Azkaban to find Draco. I knew he was upset and I thought he might need someone there for him, a friend"

Professor McGonagall raised her eyebrows "a friend?" she repeated "I was under the impression that you and Mr Malfoy were not very close"

"We weren't" said Draco

"We are now" said Hermione, going a little pink "sort of"

"I am very pleased that the both of you have become a little more…hospitable, towards each other but I do not see any reason for your behaviour, Miss Granger. I understand that you may have wanted to give Mr Malfoy some support during this time but disappearing from school for a week….I would have thought you had more responsibility. Both of you are due to set your N.E.W.T exams in a week's time"

"I know Professor and I can assure you this won't affect my studies" said Hermione

"I am afraid I am going to have to take fifty points from Gryffindor and give you a detention, Miss Granger" said McGonagall regretfully "and I shall be informing your parents of this"

"That's the first detention I've ever been given" said Hermione despondently as she and Draco left McGonagall's office "I can't believe it"

"A tiny stain on your perfect school record" said Draco, smiling "oh dear"

"And fifty points from Gryffindor!" Hermione went on "I've never lost my house that many points…_never_"

Draco walked Hermione to Gryffindor Tower. An awkward silence fell between them.

"Well" said Hermione, not quite sure what she was going to say

"We've got a week left to study" said Draco but Hermione was sure he was thinking the same thing as she was - _a week left to spend together_

"Right" said Hermione "yes, well…yes a week. Do you want to, I mean, would you like to spend that week…" she cleared her throat "we could study together"

"Yeah" said Draco "why not. Usual place, usual time?"

"I guess so"

"And then?" asked Draco

Hermione was stumped by this question. Why could he never just say what he meant? Why did he always have to be so vague? "what do you mean, 'and then'?"

"After we've taken our N.E.W.T's…left school" said Draco, looking at his feet

"Are you asking me whether I'd like to see you again?" said Hermione, who couldn't help but smile

"I dunno. Maybe"

"I'd like that" said Hermione "I really would"

"I suppose we'll just see how it goes then?"

"Yes, I suppose" said Hermione who was finding it hard to wipe the smile from her face "are you still leaving straight after the exams?"

Draco nodded "I've told you, I'm not staying for the feast. There's no point. I just want to get out of here…start again"

"It's just a feast. You never know, you might enjoy it. Won't you want to say a proper goodbye to all your delightful Slytherin friends?"

Draco snorted "hardly. Pansy can fuck off as well. Merlin, that girl gets on my nerves"

"But I thought you were…you and Pansy, she said that –"

"I went out with her in fifth year" said Draco "she's never quite got over it. Completely deluded. She's alright, sometimes but really, I can't stand her most of the time"

This made Hermione smile even more

"Tomorrow then?" said Draco "in the study room?"

"Yes" said Hermione "definitely"

And after giving her a brief and admittedly, rather awkward hug, Draco departed leaving Hermione to mutter the password to Gryffindor Tower, encased in a happy bubble, which was burst immediately when a furious Ron and a very concerned Harry leapt from their chairs and began demanding where she had been. Hermione decided to tell the truth.

"What do you think you're doing?" said Ron "do you have any idea how _worried_ we've been? McGonagall said you'd left her a note and asked us if we knew where you'd gone…I've been beside myself, Hermione! You disappeared in the middle of the night! We didn't even get an owl from you and now you're telling us that you'd gone off to console Draco bloody Malfoy!"

"He's right, Hermione" said Harry "you could have at least let us know…"

"Why?" said Hermione, her temper flaring "why should I let you know? I don't have to tell you two everything!"

"You've changed, Hermione" said Ron "you never used to be like this"

"Like what Ron?" said Hermione, turning sharply towards him "like my own person? Independent, doing things without you and Harry for once?"

"We care about you, Hermione!" said Harry loudly "you're our friend"

"No Harry" said Ron quietly "Malfoy's her new friend now. Looks like she doesn't need us anymore"

"Bollocks Ron!" Hermione shrieked "you are so childish! Grow up!"

"What? It's the truth, isn't it?"

"Of course it isn't!" said Hermione "you two have always been my best friends and always will be but for goodness sake, just because I decide to do something alone for once…make a new friend…"

"A friend who just happened to have been our enemy for the past six years –"

"Draco is in the Order now!" shouted Hermione "he's changed!"

"Yeah" said Ron "and like I said, so have you"

"I am going to carry on being friends with Draco, Ron. Whether you like it or not" and with that, she stormed up the girls' staircase and collapsed upon her bed, tears sliding down her cheeks, knowing that by getting closer to Draco, she was slowly pushing her two best friends away.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N – Yes, I'm still pretty much making this whole thing up as I go along! Keep reviewing, people!**

**Disclaimer – I don't own Harry Potter.**

Hermione did not see much of Harry or Ron that week and she had barely spoken at all to the latter. She felt isolated and alone without her two best friends. Harry admittedly, had not been behaving as hostile towards her as Ron had but nevertheless, she knew Harry was on Ron's side. Even Ginny was being distant with her.

Meanwhile, Draco, although Hermione knew he was doing his best to hide it, was still distraught by the death of his mother. He didn't mention it and Hermione didn't either. They spent a lot of their time in the study room, talking and joking together but every smile and laugh Draco gave seemed forced.

"Reckon we'll pass?" said Draco, the evening before the day they were due to take their first set of N.E.W.T's

"Of course" said Hermione "with flying colours"

"I could never have done this without you, you know" said Draco, packing away his Charms notes

"I know" said Hermione, grinning "I'm a very good teacher"

The following day, the House Tables in the Great Hall had been removed and in their place were hundreds of small desks. As Hermione sat down in front of one, she felt that flutter of nerves that she always felt before an exam. She straightened her parchment and exam paper, took out a quill and glanced behind her.

Draco was sitting a few rows across and gave her an encouraging smile as Professor McGonagall's voice rang out across the Great Hall

"You have precisely one hour for each of the first two papers – Charms and Transfiguration. We will then break for lunch and begin on Defence Against The Dark Arts, followed by Potions. You may begin"

Draco caught up with Hermione as soon as the hall was dismissed for lunch "how did you do?" he asked

"Terribly probably" replied Hermione "I know I could have written so much more but there just wasn't enough time. What about you?"

"Charms, fine. Transfiguration…I still had trouble explaining the five exceptions to Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration"

"It is quite tricky" Hermione admitted "but if you can just memorise it –"

"I know I've said this a thousand times already" Draco interrupted "but thanks Hermione. Really" and he leant forwards, hesitated for a mere second and gave her a hug.

BANG.

Draco was thrown from Hermione's arms and she watched, alarmed, as he flew through the air, fell hard upon the stone floor of the Entrance Hall, skidded twenty feet across it and hit a suit of armour which fell sideways and landed with a metallic crash.

Ron was standing by the staircase, looking absolutely furious, wand in hand. Harry ran towards him and grabbed his arm but Ron wrenched it away and advanced upon Draco who was still lying dazed upon the floor.

"If you _ever_" Ron said, his voice thick with rage, wand pointed at Draco's chest "ever touch her again…if you ever go near her, I will kill you"

Draco scrambled to his feet. Hermione looked around desperately for a teacher, but there were none in sight. They were all apparently still in the Great Hall, collecting the exam papers

"She doesn't care, Weasley" said Draco, pulling out his own wand "I'm sure she did care what you thought at some point but she's getting pretty sick of you now. You're too thick to realise that you're driving her away, aren't you? You just don't get it at all"

"STUPEFY!" Ron yelled but Draco swiftly sidestepped the spell and it hit the wall instead, a chunk of brick crumbling onto the floor "too slow, Weasley" said Draco "mind you, you've always been a bit slow, haven't you?"

"SHUT UP!" shouted Ron. A crowd had begun to form in the Entrance Hall now, all eyes upon Ron and Draco and Hermione, who was standing by the doors to the Great Hall, completely at a loss as to what to do.

"Has it ever occurred to you that the reason Hermione might prefer me to you right now is because you just don't understand her, you don't listen to her…you treat her like she's your wife when all you two had was a pathetic little fling months ago? You coddle her and suffocate her, Weasley. Maybe she wanted a bit of freedom, space to be herself, to think for herself" said Draco softly "she's not in love with you, Weasley and she never will be"

"She's not in love with you either" said Ron and Hermione saw Draco's grip tighten on his wand "she felt sorry for you, she pitied you. You're like a project to her, something to make better…like a piece of homework that needs improving. You're a mess, Malfoy, a sad, pathetic little ferret with no friends and nobody to turn to. Hermione felt sorry for you, that's all"

Draco smirked "really? And I suppose you think that you're all going to leave school and I'll be out of the picture and you and Hermione and Potter can all go back to being the best of friends and Hermione'll fall for you all over again and everything will turn out just how you thought it should be? It's not going to work like that though, is it Weasley? You lost your chance with Hermione"

"I LOVE HER!" bellowed Ron

"SO DO I!" shouted Draco

Silence fell and Draco's words echoed around the Entrance Hall and rang in Hermione's ears. Draco turned suddenly and ran from the scene, vanishing around the corner towards the dungeons. Hermione followed.

"Is that it?" Ron's voice carried across the hall "that's your choice? You're going after Malfoy?"

"Yes Ron" said Hermione stiffly, tears threatening to overwhelm her "I'm going after Malfoy"

"Do you love him?" demanded Harry "do you?"

"I don't know, Harry!" said Hermione loudly "just…just leave me alone"

But she did know. She had known perhaps for weeks now the answer to that question and the answer was yes, she did love Draco Malfoy. And now all she had to do was tell him that she did.


	15. Chapter 15

Draco was sitting on the floor, next to the entrance to the Slytherin Common room when Hermione found him.

"I was waiting for you" he said

"Did you mean what you said" said Hermione at once "what you told Ron"

"Yes" said Draco plainly

Hermione sat down too and shuffled closer "I feel the same" she said, surprising herself at how easy it was to admit it to Draco – she had expected herself to hesitate, find it awkward. But it wasn't. Not at all.

"I think you do love me, I think you're attracted to me" said Draco "but I don't think you're in love with me"

"That's not true" said Hermione firmly "I thought I was in love with Ron, but I wasn't. It feels different with you"

"Weasley said you pitied me"

"I did" said Hermione honestly "at first"

"Maybe you still do"

"I'm not telling you I love you out of pity, Draco"

Draco looked at his watch and stood up "we're going to be late for our Defence Against the Dark Arts N.E.W.T"

"Maybe I don't care" lied Hermione "maybe I'd rather sit here and talk this over with you"

Draco raised his eyebrows sceptically "come on. We can talk later, I promise. I don't want all your hard work to go to waste" he held out his hand and Hermione took it and laced her fingers with his.

"You're in trouble" said Hermione as they reached the Entrance Hall. McGonagall was speaking with a particularly disgruntled looking Filch, who was frowning at the missing chunk of wall that Ron had displaced with his stunning spell. McGonagall strode quickly up to Draco who let go of Hermione's hand

"Fifty points from Slytherin for drawing wands in the Entrance Hall" said McGonagall "and you can be assured Mr Weasley of Gryffindor will be receiving the same punishment for his involvement. If it was not the end of the school year I would have you in detention for a week, Mr Malfoy. I am considering withdrawing you from the end of year feast for such a display"

"I apologise for fighting with Weasley but he started it Professor, it was an unprovoked attack. And I don't care about the feast" said Draco "I won't be going anyway"

McGonagall looked momentarily surprised "and why do you not wish to attend the feast, Mr Malfoy?"

"I just don't see the point" said Draco "nobody is going to particularly want me there –"

"I daresay Miss Granger would like you to attend" said McGonagall

"Very much so" said Hermione

"I will expect to see you at the feast, Mr Malfoy" said McGonagall briskly "now hurry into the Great Hall, if you please. Your Defence Against the Dark Arts N.E.W.T is about to begin"

Hermione and Draco joined the throng of students making their way into the Great Hall. Hermione saw Harry and Ron nearby. Ron ignored her completely but Harry came to wish her luck in the exam.

Hermione could hardly concentrate at all. Her eyes kept drifting from her parchment to focus on Draco instead who had his elbow resting on the table as he worked. She spied Pansy Parkinson across the hall who looked at Draco, then at Hermione and whispered something to Millicent Bulstrode who narrowed her eyes at Hermione before returning to her exam paper. Hermione didn't care. They could gossip and throw as many insults at her as she wanted because Draco wanted her, not Pansy. Draco was in love with _her_ - plain, frizzy-haired, know-it-all Hermione. She could hardly believe it.

Hermione knew she was not the prettiest girl in the school, compared to girls such as Lavender and Parvati who always looked so immaculate, but Draco didn't care about her frizzy hair, or the ink stains she always had on her hands and cuffs from writing so many essays, or the fact that her school uniform was almost always crumpled. He didn't care that she hardly ever wore makeup or jewellery or expensive, flattering clothes. He didn't mind her bossiness or her bookishness – he liked her just the way she was, he loved her for being herself and that was all she needed to know, that was all she needed to convince her that Draco really was telling the truth, he really did love her.

After Defence Against the Dark Arts, came Potions. Professor Slughorn took the Gryffindors and Slytherins to the dungeons first, while the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws had an early dinner before it was their turn to take the exam.

The dungeon, crowded and noisy and full of fumes from all the potions, gave Draco the perfect opportunity to pass a note to Hermione. She recognised his handwriting at once and opened it.

_Meet me outside the Slytherin Common Room after the exam._

It read. Intrigued, Hermione replied:

_Why?_

_So we can talk somewhere in private - where Weasley can't find me!_

This made Hermione giggle but she stifled it quickly and shoved the note into her bag as Slughorn approached to inspect her potion.

Harry hurried up to her when the exam finished "Herbology and History of Magic tomorrow" he said "and Care of Magical Creatures…how're you finding the exams so far, then?"

"Fine" said Hermione distractedly "you?"

"Yeah, ok. There was one question in Charms, page four, question twenty five, I think. I don't know if you –"

"Great, Harry. Listen, I've got to go, see you later" and Hermione made her way hastily to the Slytherin Common Room, where Draco, as his note had said, was waiting for her by the entrance.


	16. Chapter 16

Draco led Hermione through the door hidden in the wall of the dungeon hallway and into the Slytherin Common Room. A few Slytherin fourth years were talking beside the elegant fireplace

"Get lost" Draco told them and they leapt obediently from their chairs, hurried past and left the common room.

Hermione liked the Slytherin Common Room, she decided but it lacked the cosiness of Gryffindor Tower. It was very grand – portraits and tapestries lined the walls along with a large Slytherin banner set above the fireplace. A thickly carpeted staircase with a gilded handrail lead to what Hermione supposed was one of the dormitories, as another identical staircase stood on the opposite end of the room.

Draco sat down on one of the dark green leather sofas and gestured for Hermione to join him before conjuring a tray with two glasses and a bottle of Firewhisky, then adding a jug of pumpkin juice as an afterthought.

"You shouldn't drink that stuff" said Hermione indicating the Firewhisky and pouring herself some pumpkin juice

"You don't like drinking because you don't like being drunk" said Draco "you hate the thought of not being in control"

Hermione was startled by this observation because Draco was right. He had pointed out the exact reason why she did not drink "you drink for the wrong reasons" she countered "you drink to block things out. You also drink when you're nervous" she added

"I'm not nervous" said Draco

"I didn't say you were" said Hermione, smiling slightly.

There was a pause. Draco put his glass down and turned to look at her and Hermione could tell, simply by the intensity of his gaze what he was about to do and before she knew it, her pumpkin juice had slipped to the floor and Draco's lips were on hers. Ron had never kissed her like this – so passionately and desperately and lovingly. Ron had tried, she knew he had tried but he was always so clumsy, and often awkward about it. This was what a kiss should be like, Hermione thought as Draco moved his hand slowly from her back to tangle his fingers in her hair. He moved his mouth from hers and began placing soft, gentle kisses down her neck…

Hermione knew, she could tell where this was going and she didn't want it to stop but she pulled away gently. Everything was happening – had happened – so quickly…

"I'm sorry" muttered Draco "I didn't mean to –"

"No" said Hermione, the romantic mood evaporating at once "its fine, I'm fine. Honestly"

Draco cleared his throat "you're not a…I mean…it wouldn't matter if you were – what I'm trying to say is…are you, have you…"

Hermione giggled. She'd never heard Draco stutter before "no, I'm not" she said "you know, Ron…"

"I bet that was pleasant" said Draco and Hermione grimaced at the memory which involved her and Ron in Ron's bed back at the Burrow

"He's just a bit tactless" she said "he didn't really know what he was doing…gosh, I feel sorry for Lavender. At least he'd had a_ bit _of experience before he slept with me" she paused and said "I take it you're no novice?"

"Pansy" said Draco tersely and Hermione felt a sudden stab of jealousy which might have shown on her face because Draco hastily added "mistake, total mistake. You can't spend more than ten minutes in that girl's company without wanting to throw a jinx at her"

This made Hermione feel marginally better and she drew her legs up onto the sofa and rested her head on Draco's chest. She sighed contentedly.

The door opened very suddenly and Hermione's hand instinctively flew to her wand, thinking it was Pansy who was about to stride into the common room, but it was the fourth years back again

"Hey" said one "she's in _Gryffindor._ She's not supposed to be in here!"

Draco carefully lifted Hermione from his chest, drew his wand and took a few steps towards the fourth years who shrunk back slightly "she's here as my guest" said Draco "and breathe a word about this to anyone and I'll tell Slughorn it was you who put that laxative in that box of pineapple of his. Amusing as it was, I daresay he didn't find it as funny and would be quite keen to know who the culprits were"

"But we want to use the common room!" insisted the boy "and how are we meant to get any homework done if _you're_ in here_ snogging_ _her_"

Draco considered them for a moment "there's a library, you know"

"Draco" said Hermione "we could go upstairs"

"Oooooooh!" chorused the fourth years and Draco scowled at them

"To talk!" said Hermione, flushing pink as Draco took her hand and led her towards the staircase on the right "we're going to talk"

"Yeah right" Hermione heard one of the boys mutter as the dormitory door closed behind them.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N – Quite a long chapter, quite a lot of fluff and cheese. Enjoy!**

"Bloody fourth years" said Draco "Slughorn couldn't get off the loo for a week, McGonagall had to take the Potions classes"

"That's where he was?" said Hermione, laughing "I got told his rheumatism was playing up again"

"Nobody will come in here" said Draco; sitting down on the bed closest to the window "the people I used to share this dorm with never came back for seventh year"

Hermione sat down next to him and looked around. Sure enough, the other beds did not look as though they had been slept in for quite some time and there were pin marks on the wall above them, undoubtedly where posters and photographs had previously been tacked.

Draco had a Slytherin flag attached to the wall above his own bed, along with some old photographs one of which, Hermione noticed, was of Narcissa Malfoy. She was smiling tensely – a rather false smile, as though the expression of mild happiness upon her face was only there because she was posing for the photo.

There was one of Draco's father too. He was standing in a large garden with a young Draco at his side – Draco couldn't have been more than around eight years old. In the foreground of the photo, was a large manor house. Draco was smiling and tugging at his father's sleeve but the man looked irritated by this and as Hermione watched, he batted his son away impatiently.

"Did you have a good childhood, Draco?" said Hermione suddenly

"I was looked after" said Draco following Hermione's gaze to the photographs "it depends how you define a good childhood"

"Did you…did your mother ever read you stories? Did you and your father ever, you know, just have fun together, play Quidditch? Stuff like that" said Hermione

"My nanny used to read me stories" said Draco "my mother was never particularly maternal. As for my father, can you really imagine him wanting to spend time with me, teaching me how to play Quidditch, Hermione?"

"No…no I suppose not" said Hermione humbly, realising how tactless she had been, bringing up Draco's mother and father "I'm sorry Draco, I didn't mean to…I just want to know more about you"

"Alright" said Draco pulling himself onto the bed and dragging Hermione playfully along with him so the pair of them were lying against the pillows, side by side "my birthday is the 5th June, my favourite colour is probably green although I do like blue, I'm an only child, I play Seeker in Quidditch, my height is somewhere around five foot eleven, my favourite subject is Transfiguration although I'm useless at it, when I was nine I broke my leg pretty badly, falling off my broomstick and had to spend a week in St Mungos…"

Hermione laughed

"Hey, don't laugh" said Draco jokily, putting an arm around her shoulders and drawing her closer to him "have you ever broken your leg before? It's not nice"  
Hermione reached up and gave him a kiss

Hermione paused and bit her lip "does this mean that we're –"

"Together?" said Draco "I don't know. Whatever you want"

"I'd like us to be together" said Hermione "wouldn't you?"

"Of course, but…" and Hermione know there was going to be a but "…we leave school in just over a week…I've got hardly any money… I'm still a complete mess, Hermione. I won't be able to support you, or –"

Hermione laughed "support me? How very gallant of you"

"You know what I mean"

"I'll get a job…" but Hermione knew Draco would never let her do that, let her go to work while he did nothing… "We'll get you a job too" she said "you'll see. Everything will turn out alright"

"Things have certainly been looking up recently" said Draco, giving her a little squeeze

"We'll manage" said Hermione "we'll work it out – together"

"Funny how this happened, isn't it?" said Draco

Hermione knew what he meant

"With Pansy it was just like, it was supposed to be" Draco began, his eyes upon the wall "our families knew each other, we went to school together…dating Pansy, I felt like I was just doing what I was supposed to do. It felt so forced. Then I got close to you and I'll admit, if someone had said to me a few months ago that I'd end up with Hermione Granger…" he trailed off.

"I know what you mean" said Hermione "being with Ron, it seemed like the obvious thing to do and so I accepted it" she laughed and shook her head "when we first got together, I honestly thought we'd end up leaving school and getting married…have kids. Cosy and safe, reassuring and predictable. I never really wanted that – I thought I did, but I didn't. I was lying to myself. It would have worked with Ron, I could have made it work, I could have settled into that comfortable life that Ron would have given me but I doubt I would have ever been truly happy"

"I'm sorry, Hermione" said Draco and Hermione was startled and confused to find that Draco's eyes looked glazed. He wasn't crying - Hermione knew he would never, ever cry in front of her, or anyone else for that matter, but he looked so sad, so pained. Hermione placed her hand on his "for making your life so difficult, for calling you all those names…for being such a twat. It's inexcusable and I find myself asking myself why you don't hate me, because you should. You shouldn't be here, lying here with me in my dormitory and treating me like you would a close friend…acting like you forgive me for everything I've done to you"

Hermione opened her mouth and closed it again, "Draco, don't.." she said

"Why did you even give me a second chance, Hermione? Because I don't deserve it. I don't deserve all this kindness" Draco sat up abruptly, swung his legs over the side of the bed so his back was facing Hermione, and put his head in his hands "I don't deserve you. All this talk of leaving school and getting together and getting a place...I can't trust myself not to fuck it all up, Hermione. I've told you before, I've warned you, I'll make a mess of everything. You might not hate me now, you might even love me right now but that won't last. I'll end up making you hate me, Hermione because when it comes down to it, I'm still an arrogant, selfish arsehole"

"Don't you dare sit there and give me all that bullshit" said Hermione angrily "don't you dare feel sorry for yourself! I gave you a second chance because you have changed!"

"I think you should leave" said Draco "I need to think"

"Think about what?" said Hermione "there is nothing to think about!"

"Please Hermione, just go" said Draco, his voice cracking

"No" said Hermione defiantly "you're about to throw all this away just because you're scared you can't do it, that you won't be able to make it work? Are you trying to push me away?"

"No" said Draco earnestly. Hermione saw him wipe his face. She pretended not to see, pretended not to realise that he was crying now. She hated to see him cry.

"Draco, please just trust me. You won't ruin this, because I won't let you"

She gave him a moment to compose himself. When he turned to her at last, he said, almost angrily "no girl has ever made me like this before. Made me…cry. Consider yourself special, Hermione"

"Oh I do" said Hermione, shifting along the bed so she was sitting next to him "I consider myself very special indeed. Because I have you"


	18. Chapter 18

Hermione awoke at approximately eight o' clock in the morning the following day with a lightly snoring Draco cuddled up beside her. She smiled and gave him a prod in the arm "get up" she said. He blearily opened his eyes and for a moment appeared a little confused to find Hermione staring back at him but then he smiled too and said groggily "morning"

"We have a Herbology exam at nine" said Hermione "I have to go back to Gryffindor Tower but I'll see you at the greenhouses"

She left the dormitory very quietly and crept downstairs to the Common Room. It was empty. The other Slytherins had apparently all gone to breakfast. She passed nobody on the way back to Gryffindor Tower apart from a few Ravenclaw second years and Professor Flitwick who gave her a cheery "good morning, Miss Granger" before tottering off down the corridor in the direction of the Charms classroom.

"Late night?" said the Fat Lady, eyeing her tousled hair and crumpled school uniform. Hermione grinned and the Fat Lady chuckled and swung inwards to let her through.

"Hermione"

Harry was sitting in one of the chairs in front of the fireplace but he stood up when Hermione approached

"Hello Harry" said Hermione airily "why aren't you at breakfast?"

"I was waiting for you to come back" said Harry "you weren't at dinner last night"

"I wasn't hungry" said Hermione "I went to the study room to do some last minute revision and I must have fallen asleep, you know how comfortable those sofas are. Thank goodness I woke up in time or I might have missed the Herbology exam. Anyway, I better go and get changed –"

"Don't lie to me Hermione" said Harry "I know exactly where you were last night. You weren't in the study room"

Hermione did her best to look puzzled "what are you talking about, Harry?"

"Ron and I overheard a group of fourth year Slytherins at dinner yesterday evening" said Harry "they said that Malfoy had a Gryffindor girl in his dormitory last night. They said that they recognised this particular Gryffindor girl because she was friends with Harry Potter"

"I see" said Hermione "and does Ron –"

"Yes" said Harry shortly "Ron heard it too"

"Well" said Hermione "I think that it is entirely up to me whom I choose to spend my evenings with so if you'll excuse me –"

"Did you sleep with him?"

"No!" said Hermione truthfully "and really Harry it isn't any of your business"

"It is my bloody business because I'm the one who's been having to be there for Ron who is absolutely heartbroken, Hermione!" said Harry angrily "It's bad enough you're seeing someone so soon after you two broke up, but Malfoy Hermione! You're seeing Malfoy! Do you have any idea how this is making Ron feel?"

"I had the impression that you did not have a problem with Draco anymore" said Hermione

"That's besides the point" said Harry "Hermione, Ron was and still is in love with you and he thought you were in love with him and just as he was starting to accept that you didn't want to be with him, just when he was starting to move on you do this. I'm worried about him, Hermione. He's barely sleeping, he's not eating, he's not doing at all well in his N.E.W.T's. I've never seen him like this before"

Hermione felt a lump in her throat and her eyes began to sting "Harry I don't know what to do" she said, tears spilling from her eyes "I love Ron, I care about him deeply but I can't be with him Harry, I just can't"

Harry strode forwards and wrapped his arms around her and as she clung onto him and sobbed into his shoulder she realised just how much she had missed her best friend "I'm not heartless, Harry I know how upset Ron is but if I don't get back with him, he will be unhappy and if I do get back with him, I will be. And I feel as though I'm drifting away from you and Ron and I don't want that I really don't want that. I miss you both so much"

"I know, I know" Harry soothed "we miss you too, you know. But you're going to have to talk to Ron about this; you're going to have to explain to him how you feel. He deserves to know"

"He won't talk to me" said Hermione, drawing away from Harry and wiping her eyes on her sleeve "he hasn't really spoken to me in weeks"

"I think you're throwing away a good thing here Hermione. Ron would take care of you, he'd never cheat or lie to you or break your heart. If I'm honest with you, when you and Ron broke up I didn't think it would be permanent. Before you got close to Malfoy you and Ron were getting along so well"

"Are you saying that you think Draco would break my heart?" said Hermione who genuinely wanted to know what Harry thought

"I don't know Hermione" said Harry

"And you think I should get back together with Ron because it would be easier…safer?"

"You wouldn't get hurt with Ron" said Harry "but you can't help how you feel about Malfoy. Look, go and get changed because we're going to miss the Herbology exam. I'll talk to Ron at lunch; see if he wants to speak to you?"

"Yes" said Hermione "that's probably a good idea. But if he doesn't want to talk to me? You know how stubborn Ron can be"

"Ron will want to talk to you" said Harry "you'd better hurry, Hermione. I know you'll go spare if we miss that exam"

Hermione gave Harry a quick hug and disappeared to the girls' dormitories, wondering what on earth she was going to say to Ron.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N more fluff, more cheese. Yay!**

The days exams went well, Hermione thought. Herbology was a breeze; she had always found it one of the easier subjects. History of Magic went well too as she always enjoyed the lessons and had a talent for remembering important facts and dates. She was one of the few students who actually found History of Magic interesting. Care of Magical Creatures was by far the most enjoyable exam. She, along with her fellow seventh years did the theory first in the Great Hall, the same as with Herbology and then moved outside into the castle grounds where Hagrid was waiting for them with a vast array of magical creatures which they were required to identify, look after for an hour and then make labelled diagrams of.

She had met Draco at lunchtime and they had walked beside the lake together, discussing the Herbology exam. She did not mention that Harry had said to her that he would arrange a meeting between her and Ron. She had meant to, but she put it off. She didn't want Draco to get the wrong impression.

She returned from dinner and found Harry sitting beside the fire with Neville and Seamus.

"Hello Harry. Hi Neville, hi Seamus" said Hermione, sitting down next to them

"How have you been finding the exams, Hermione?" said Seamus conversationally

"Oh fine" said Hermione

"Hermione, I was wondering if you could take a look at this Astronomy chart?" said Harry

"Oh yes, of course" said Hermione "we could use the table; it'll be easier to work there. See you later" she added to Seamus and Neville and Harry followed her across the room

"Have you spoken to Ron?" she said immediately

"Yes. He wants to speak to you"

"Where?"

"I said to him you'd meet him in the study room. You haven't changed your mind, have you? You still want to talk to him?" said Harry

"Yes, of course I do"

"You better go then. And try not to make it into an argument"

Hermione was a little affronted "Harry, it's not me who makes the arguments" she said "it's Ron"

"You know what I mean" said Harry, walking over to the portrait hole with her "see you later"

Ron was sitting upon one of the sofas when Hermione walked in. He looked up as she approached "hi" he said

"Hi" said Hermione, sitting down next to him. There followed a very awkward silence

"Harry told me you wanted to talk to me" said Ron flatly

"Yes" said Hermione "I thought you deserved an explanation"

"So explain"

"I want you to know that I never meant to hurt you" Hermione began "all of this…me seeing Draco, it wasn't to spite you. Just because we're not together, just because we're not in love anymore doesn't mean I don't care for you. I love you very much Ron and I always will but I can't be with you"

"Why?" said Ron, almost pleadingly "I thought…when we broke up, I thought you just needed time to think, needed some space…"

"I did need space, Ron. I still do"

"I never gave you much space, did I?" said Ron "I was never good at being in a relationship"

Here we go again, thought Hermione, the self-pitying speech "I know I did everything wrong, I know I annoyed you I know I was a fool at times. I tried Hermione; I tried so hard to make it work"

"So did I" said Hermione "I wanted it to work too, Ron. But it just didn't"

"Were you ever in love with me?" said Ron

"Yes" said Hermione "yes I was. I was very much in love with you at one point. I thought we would be together forever I thought we would get married and have children and grow old together"

Ron looked at her, he gazed at her as though trying to work out whether she was telling the truth, or making fun of him "so did I" he said

"I relied on you, all through the war" said Hermione, willing herself not to cry "when I was scared you made me feel safe, Ron. We fought Death Eaters together, we helped Harry to defeat Voldemort…we've saved each others life more than once, we've been through a lot together. You were a comfort to me. I relied on you and you relied on me. Everything about our relationship was so much simpler then. It isn't that simple anymore. We've grown apart and I know that's hard to accept, but Ron, you're going to have to accept it"

"I can't" said Ron "I love you too much"

Why did these words, those simple words which held so much meaning because she knew they were true, that Ron really did love her, still make her stomach flip, still make her heart beat a little faster, make her want to smile, but at the same time make her want to cry?

"I've missed you" said Ron "I've just missed you being there with me. I've missed everything about you, the way you laugh, how you smell of that rose soap that I gave you for your birthday that time, the one you liked so much you bought more of it. I miss the way you bite your lip when you don't know what to say, I miss how your hair looks all frizzy but really it's soft to touch, and how you don't care what other people think. I miss waking up in the mornings and seeing you beside me. I miss going to sleep at night thinking how lucky I am to have you –"

"Ron," said Hermione. She had to stop him saying all this, it was too much and already tears were stinging her eyes

"You can't stop me loving you, Hermione" said Ron. He leant forwards and kissed her and she made no effort to stop him and she kissed him back and still the tears were running down her face and for one fleeting, wonderful moment she was lost in Ron's arms but then reality came crashing back and she pushed him away, confused and half ashamed of herself. She had to go, she couldn't lead Ron on like this, she couldn't do it to him…

"Don't go, Hermione" said Ron

"I shouldn't have kissed you back" said Hermione

She had to go, she had to get away, she couldn't think properly…

"Hermione, please don't run away" said Ron.

But she did. She ran from the study room, she ran all the way along the corridor and down the stairs, knowing that she should go back to Gryffindor Tower but she didn't. She ran towards the dungeons and thumped her fist on the wall where the entrance to the Slytherin Common room was concealed.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N I've been pretty slow updating recently and I'm still making up this story as I go along. Thanks for all the reviews everyone, they really do keep me going with this story!**

The door was thrown open and Hermione found herself face to face with Pansy Parkinson. She didn't even care, she needed Draco. She needed to speak to Draco.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Granger?" said Pansy

Hermione pulled out her wand "let me in" she said

Pansy laughed "I asked you what you're doing here. Gryffindors and Mudbloods aren't welcome in the Slytherin Common room, Granger. Although I'm already pretty sure I know why you're here" Pansy folded her arms and leant lazily against the doorframe "to see Draco, am I right?"

"Get out of the way" said Hermione through gritted teeth "now"

"Maybe I can give Draco a message for you instead" said Pansy "I don't really want filth like you in the common room that I have to sit in"

"I shouldn't worry about that, Pansy" said Hermione, unable to stop herself "I've already been in your common room. You see that sofa there?" she pointed past Pansy to the green leather sofa near the fireplace "that's where Draco kissed me and told me how he thought of you as nothing more than a mistake. I could have slept with Draco on that sofa, but I've got more class than you, Pansy. I'm not easy, you see"

Pansy was shaking with rage. She whipped out her wand and shrieked "STUPEFY!"

Hermione flung herself sideways to avoid the spell and landed on the hard floor of the dungeon coridoor. Pansy advanced on her but Hermione yelled "IMPEDIMENTA!"

"PROTEGO!" bellowed Pansy. Hermione scrabbled to her feet. She didn't come here for a fight but she knew there was no reasoning with Pansy, not now Hermione had antagonised her, provoked her…

"IMPEDIMENTA!" shouted Hermione and Pansy blocked the spell again. Wincing at the pain in her side, Hermione screamed "INCARCEROUS!" but it was useless. Pansy, her face a picture of fury, dodged the spell and yelled "STUPEFY!" the spell only just missed Hermione who cast a shield charm to deflect it.

"EXPELLIARMUS!" Hermione shrieked and Pansy was thrown from her feet. Her wand flew from her hand and skittered across the floor but she scrambled forwards and grabbed it "he doesn't love you, you know" she hissed, breathing hard and pointing her wand at Hermione "you're a conquest, nothing more. You may think Draco has completely changed but you don't know him as I do. I've known him for six years. Underneath he is still arrogant and self-centred and manipulating. He's dangerous Granger, too dangerous for a quiet little bookworm like you"

Hermione gripped her wand harder and narrowed her eyes

"How well do you think you know Draco? Really know him?" said Pansy, pushing herself up from the floor "he'll break your heart, Granger" her lip was quivering "he broke mine"

Hermione stared at her "he really hurt you, didn't he?" said Hermione curiously. Pansy, as Hermione recalled, had always been very composed, haughty and confident. Her dark hair was always shiny and groomed her makeup immaculate, her complexion clear and her clothes expensive and neat. She looked different now, Hermione noticed with her smudged eyeliner and dull untidy hair. She looked tired, unhappy. There were dark circles under her eyes, her skin was greyish, and her face was gaunt and thin. She looked broken.

"Hurt me?" said Pansy. Her tone was high pitched, almost maniacal "you have no idea what that bastards done to me"

"He broke up with you" said Hermione plaintively "we've all had difficult break ups, myself included"

Pansy cackled mirthlessly "is that what he told you? It wasn't as simple as that"

Pansy had lowered her wand. Hermione however, kept hers aloft

"We started dating in fifth year" Pansy went on "he treated me like shit for most of the time but at other times he was pleasant enough and I loved him. Sixth year rolled around and we were still together and we both joined the Death Eaters, got the Dark Mark" Pansy pulled up her sleeve and showed Hermione the tattoo. It still made her uneasy, seeing it, even when Draco had shown her his own. It brought back memories of the war, the fighting and the destruction and loss it caused. "I was scared when Potter and the Order declared war on the Death Eaters. I knew it was coming, of course, all of us did. But I had Draco and I knew I would be alright, because we were together, he and I, through it all. We both had the mark, we knew there was a chance we wouldn't make it but we had each other. But then he had a change of heart, a week before Voldemort's downfall. He'd been speaking to Potter and Potter had convinced him. Draco is a coward, Granger. He backed out, he was frightened –"

"He wasn't frightened" said Hermione "he joined the Order because he knew it was the right thing to do!"

Pansy snorted but otherwise ignored Hermione's comment. Hermione suspected she had wanted to tell all this to someone, to talk to someone, to let it all out "I warned him" said Pansy "I said that if anyone, any of the Death Eaters found out, if Voldemort found out, he'd be dead and so would his family. I said he couldn't leave now but he was adamant to join the Order, to fight against Voldemort. So I did the only thing I could do. I protected him. I lied for him; I lied to the Death Eaters, made up excuses for him about where he was when he disappeared to the Order Headquarters. I am a good Occlumens, but I was terrified all the time, terrified they would discover the truth and that both of us would be killed"

Pansy paused and took a deep, shuddering breath "they found out the truth, in the end and this was a day or two before the battle, before Potter defeated Voldemort. It was Bellatrix, she suspected something was going on, she made me drink Veritaserum. And then I was the one who was punished" a tear slid down her cheek and she swallowed before continuing "she got my parents, used the Cruciatus curse on them and killed them. Gone, gone forever, for Draco's mistake, they died for Draco. They never managed to get to Draco, the Death Eaters. He was under protection of the Order and Voldemort was defeated soon after. He walked away from it all, he walked away from me…left me in this mess, left me alone"

Hermione said nothing. She could have called Pansy a liar, refused to believe it but the look of regret and pain in Pansy's eyes told her quite clearly, that she was telling the truth. Why hadn't Draco told her? Why had he kept this from her, not told her the truth, the whole story? Hermione felt for Pansy and for a moment, wanted to rush forwards and hug her. She looked so sad, so full of despair.

"I still love him" said Pansy quietly "after all that, I still love him and now he loves you and all you've done is help him with his homework. Do you have any idea how much that hurts? He doesn't love me anymore; I don't think he ever really did. He loves you though, I can see it"

"Pansy, I –"

The door to the Slytherin Common room swung open and Draco stepped out, looking bemused "what are you two doing?" he said, looking from the wand in Hermione's hand to the one in Pansy's.

Pansy pushed past him and vanished into the Common Room, slamming the door shut behind her

"Hermione, what happened?" said Draco urgently. He stepped forwards to hug her but Hermione took a step backwards "Hermione, what - ?"

"I came to tell you" she said clearly "that Ron kissed me. I wanted to tell you because I felt so bad about it and knew that you deserved to know the truth"

"You…you kissed –"

"But it seems like you've been keeping some secrets from me. I have told you everything about me, Draco. I've told you my secrets because I trust you. Maybe it wasn't really my business to know what Pansy just told me, but I asked you about what happened between you and Pansy and you lied. Why didn't you tell me, Draco?"

"It wasn't my fault" said Draco quietly "I never meant for it to happen"

"I know it wasn't your fault" said Hermione

"Maybe this is wrong" said Draco "all this, us. Maybe I should be with Pansy and you should be with Weasley. Its such a fucking mess, Hermione. I owe Pansy, I know. Do you think that I don't think about what happened every day that I don't lay awake at night torturing myself about it? I knew her parents, I knew them well"

"I love you, Draco" said Hermione softly "but you're an enigma, you're secretive, you won't open up to me. I want to help you, Draco but you won't let me in. You've been through so much and I can tell its destroying you inside"

"I've told you time and time again Hermione, I'm a mess" said Draco "I'm completely fucked up, you don't understand. I didn't tell you what happened between Pansy and I because I didn't want you to think any less of me than you already do. I knew a part of you would be on Pansy's side, you'd ask yourself why I left her after all that happened between us, how I could just abandon her…its so difficult, its so complicated. I'm not as strong as you, Hermione. I never have been. When things get hard, I run away, that's what I do and I leave a trail of destruction and broken hearts behind me. You don't need to be tangled up in my mess and it sounds as if you've patched things up with Weasley. You can go back to him and I can go back to Pansy and try to repair some of the damage I've caused"

"And that's what you want?" said Hermione

"It doesn't matter what we want anymore. We're going nowhere, Hermione can't you see? I love you so much but its not going to work and we can't fool ourselves into thinking it is any longer"

The world seemed to drop away from beneath Hermione's feet. She knew he was right and she hated it. She hated the fact that she couldn't fix it, make it better, make it work. She longed to be with Draco, for them to get a place together, get jobs…all the things that they had talked about. But they were just dreams, fragile dreams that had been shattered so easily.

"I'll miss you" she whispered and Draco put his arms around her, holding her close and kissed her and she could feel his tears mingling with her own.


	21. Chapter 21

The school year came to a close and Hermione found herself in her dormitory packing away her things with a heavy heart. She would miss Hogwarts, she would miss it terribly. The lessons, the teachers, the classrooms…the forest and the lake, having tea with Hagrid. The Great Hall and the library, the common room and the greenhouses. It would all soon be naught but a memory.

She rummaged through the drawers in her bedside cabinet, taking out old quills, books and scraps of parchment. She lifted out one of her old school shirts from the top drawer and something fell out onto the floor with a thump. It was the homework diary Draco had given her for Christmas. She'd never used it.

She sat down on her bed and ran her hand over the soft leather, thinking of what could have been and wishing that everything had worked out for them both. A part of her still had hope that they would find a way, make it happen, be together but she knew, deep in her heart that Draco was right and it just wasn't going to work out for them – there was too much history, too many complications, too many obstacles that they just could not overcome.

She had accepted Harry's offer to join him and Ginny for a while at Grimmauld Place. They were going to renovate it, make it into a happy family home for Harry and Ginny to live in. Ron had already found a place of his own, a small cottage in Ottery St Catchpole, the village near the Burrow. Hermione had expected this. She knew Ron would remain close to home, because that was what Ron was like – safe. He had not asked her to move in with him and even if he had she would have declined. She hoped he would find someone and settle down. She wanted him to be happy.

Ron had not mentioned their kiss and Hermione hadn't either. She knew Ron still loved her and knew that if she asked him if he wanted to get back together with her he would say yes in an instant but he hadn't bothered her about it anymore. Perhaps he had begun to accept that Hermione did not want to be with him. He probably still believed she would get back with him, eventually. She wished he would let her go. They would be friends, always but nothing more because Hermione was not in love with Ron. She was in love with Draco.

She felt as though she would never be able to get over him, she felt as though she would go through life lamenting the fact that they couldn't be together, never letting go, always believing that somehow, someday it would all work out, holding out for him, waiting. She might meet someone else, someone who would love her and marry her and have her children but still, she would be full of regret and her heart would still belong to Draco.

She attended the leaving feast with Harry and Ron. She glanced over to the Slytherin table and saw with an agonising wrench that seemed to pull on her heart that Draco's hand was upon the table, holding Pansy's. Pansy caught her eye but there was nothing smug or triumphant about the way she looked at her. It was an almost apologetic look and Hermione nodded towards her and Pansy gave her a slight smile. They would never be friends but Hermione knew that there was an understanding between them now.

Draco did not look at Hermione and she knew it was because he could not bear to. Hermione turned to her plate instead, but she couldn't eat anything. She felt sick, sick with sadness and regret.

"Are you alright?" asked Harry quietly

"Yes" said Hermione "I'm fine"

The feast came to an end and Hermione, like everyone else, made her way into the Entrance Hall where beyond the school gates, carriages were waiting to take the students to Hogsmeade Station for the final time. She squeezed through the crowds, saying goodbye and good luck to her classmates, bestowing a hug upon Neville, Lavender and Parvati, talking to Luna about her planned expedition abroad to find more evidence to prove the existence of Crumple Horned Snorcacks. She spoke with Professors McGonnagal, Flitwick, Slughorn and Sprout, talking about what she was going to do now she had finished school. She listened to Dean and Seamus who were going travelling together for a while and had her hand shaken by what seemed to be every seventh year Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw in the school.

She saw Draco depart for the carriages, hand in hand with Pansy and she couldn't help the tears that slid down her cheeks as she watched them walk down the stone steps together. Nobody asked her why she was crying for many people were, but for a different reason, because they were leaving school, moving on, saying farewell to their classmates.

"I'll miss it, you know, Hogwarts" said Harry, following Hermione and Ron into one of the carriages.

"Yeah" said Hermione sadly "me too"


	22. Chapter 22

Grimmauld Place was just as Hermione remembered it. Dusty, dank and depressing. But it was improving. She and Ginny had visited a furniture shop in Diagon Alley and chosen a new suite for the living room and some units for the kitchen. Harry had wallpapered the landing and the hall, replaced the windows, carpeted the bedrooms and installed a new bath.

Hermione had been at Grimmauld Place for two weeks and those two weeks had certainly been busy. Fred and George had been to visit, accompanied by their girlfriends, the girls who Hermione had first met at the Yule Ball. Bill and Fleur came with Victoire, Ron, Charlie and Percy had joined them for lunch the previous day and Tonks and Lupin had visited with Teddy. Even Kingsley and Mad-Eye had stopped by.

Hermione appreciated all these distractions because they prevented her from locking herself in her room and dissolving into tears. Ginny had left early that morning with Harry to buy some curtains. Hermione had decided not to join them and so now she found herself alone in the house with Kreacher who had made her a pot of tea.

"Thank you, Kreacher" she said as he poured her a cup

"Would Miss care for any cake?" Kreacher asked in his croaky voice

"No, the tea is fine"

"Miss has not been eating as much as she should" Kreacher observed "Kreacher's master is worried about her, oh yes Kreacher heard him talking to the red haired girl. Miss should eat something, Kreacher thinks"

"I'll wait until dinner to eat something but thank you for your concern, Kreacher" said Hermione and Kreacher bowed and left the kitchen.

The weather outside reflected exactly how Hermione felt. A heavy downpour of rain lashed against the windows and dark grey clouds hung heavily in the sky. Kreacher was right, she hadn't been eating. She hadn't been sleeping much either and when she did sleep her dreams almost always involved Draco which did nothing to help her feel better.

Hermione knew the ground floor bathroom needed scrubbing and, wanting to keep herself as busy as possible, pulled on a pair of rubber gloves, rummaged in the cupboard for some Magical Mess Remover and set to work.

It was midday and she was just finishing off polishing the taps when Kreacher poked his head around the bathroom door and announced "Miss has a visitor. Should Kreacher let him in?"

"Who is it?" said Hermione

"It is the Malfoy boy, Miss"

Hermione hardly dared to believe it. Shoving the bottle of Magical Mess Remover into Kreacher's arms she raced towards the front door, skidding slightly on the floorboards in her haste. And there he was, standing in the doorway, dressed in a long black travelling cloak, his blonde hair sopping wet, raindrops falling onto his shoulders. Draco.

"I came to see you" he said while Hermione gaped "why are you wearing rubber gloves?"

Hermione tore them off, threw herself into his arms and burst into tears "you shouldn't have come here" she said "you shouldn't be here, you should be with Pansy…you shouldn't have come to see me…"

"Can we go inside?" said Draco "it's a bit wet out here"

Hermione lead him into the living room. Kreacher took his cloak and hung it by the boiler to dry out "what are you doing here, Draco?" said Hermione at once "because you know and I know that the more we see of each other, the more painful things will become"

"Pansy and I" Draco began "she…we, decided something last night. I was unhappy, Hermione, I was so miserable. I haven't left the house since we left school, I had no conviction to do anything but sit there and feel depressed. Pansy, she…she knew, maybe she understood I don't know, maybe she loves me so much that she'd rather see me be with you and be happy than be with her and be miserable. She's gone to stay with her cousin in Wales, start a new life away from London. It was her who broke it off, it wasn't me. I would have stayed with her, not because I wanted to but because I knew I should, I had to. But she let me go, she told me to leave and to come here and she made me promise her that I would be happy, that I wouldn't torture myself about what happened any longer. What happened to her parents will stay with me for life but I've made Pansy a promise and I intend to keep it" Draco stood up and put his hands around Hermione's waist "I love you, Hermione Granger and I want to be with you for the rest of my life"

Hermione could not say anything; she could not find the words to explain how much this meant to her, how happy she was. She merely stood there, her head buried in Draco's chest and cried harder than she felt she ever had before because she knew that from now on, everything was going to be alright, everything would work out for them both and that they would be together, side by side just as it was supposed to be.


	23. Chapter 23

**Author's Note - Wow it's been like, years since I added a chapter to this story. I may not have continued this story if slytherinprincess02 hadn't asked me to! Anyway, this is the next chapter. Enjoy and don't forget to click that review button! :)**

Hermione woke up in her room at Grimmauld Place and looked around her room blearily, rubbing her eyes. It was still raining outside and the dull morning light was filtering through the curtains. It wasn't until she saw the young man asleep on a comfy chair by the door that she remembered what had happened the previous night and a bubble of happiness welled in her chest. Yet interspersed with that happiness was a growing worry that she could not ignore. However simple she wanted this to be, she was realistic enough to know that there were many things to be discussed.

Somehow, things were beginning to seem more complicated now...now that they had left Hogwarts, now that it was time for their life to begin outside the walls of the school that had been a home to her for all these turbulent years. Ron would have to be told...a conversation Hermione was not looking forward to. She had to tell him, it was only fair. She wanted him to hear it from her, not by hearsay. Doubtless he was going to be a regular presence at Grimmauld Place and if Hermione and Draco were to be staying there for the foreseeable future, she wanted things to at least be civil amongst them.

Grimmauld Place could not be their home. They could not remain there for too long because however much Harry now accepted Draco as a part of the Order, and maybe would eventually become to accept him as Hermione's lover; the two men would never be friends. The mutual dislike they had shared for one another for so many years was too far ingrained...too many harsh words had been exchanged, too much had happened. They would be pleasant to one another, of course but Hermione could not expect them to live with each other. It would be unfair on both of them.

But what would they do? They would have to wait for their N.E.W.T results and accompanying certificates before they could apply for work and without work there was no money and without money there was no chance of renting a flat. Hermione sighed deeply and the sound made Draco stir. She wondered why he had slept on the chair.

"Good morning" said Hermione.

Draco opened his eyes and looked at her and rubbed his neck and winced "Morning" he replied.

"Why did you sleep on the chair?" she asked, sliding out of bed and pulling on a dressing gown.

"I was being a gentleman" Draco replied "although now I'm wondering if it was worth it" he added, caressing his neck.

"Idiot" Hermione laughed.

"Cheers" Draco told her "now come here"

Hermione went over to him and he pulled her onto his lap. They stayed there in silence for several moments in each other's arms and then Draco asked the question Hermione did not want to answer because not talking about complicated things, just sitting there together, was too blissful. She did not want to think, to worry to discuss. She wanted to stay in this room forever, just her and Draco, locked in their own private world where concerns over money and friends reactions and a difficult future did not exist.

"What are we going to do?" Draco asked her, stroking her hair.

"I don't know. Let's not talk about it for now" said Hermione softly "I don't want to"

"Does Potter know I'm here?" said Draco. Hermione heard footsteps in the corridor outside, soft, light ones. It was probably Ginny, heading for the bathroom.

"Not unless you told him"

They were not awake for Harry and Ginny's return the previous night. Hermione had guessed they had gone for dinner somewhere, made an evening of their shopping trip and not returned until late.

"I wonder if they got their curtains" said Hermione.

"I don't give a shit about their curtains" Draco replied and brought her face to hers for a kiss. He looked at her analytically "is that what you want? One day for us to be like them, shopping for curtains?"

Hermione looked back at him and a scene where the pair of them was searching through curtain patterns in a shop appeared in her mind and then she laughed. The notion of it, her and Draco Malfoy, choosing curtains was something she found quite amusing. But it was a comforting thought because she did want that...she wanted that simplicity. She envied Harry and Ginny.

"I would choose the curtains" Hermione replied imperiously "I have better taste"

"Pfft" scoffed Draco "fine, you can choose the curtains" he kissed the top of her head.

"We should go downstairs" said Hermione.

"This should be fun" Draco remarked. "Breakfast with Potter and his girlfriend"

"They won't mind" Hermione reassured him.

Draco lifted Hermione from his lap and stood up "I don't want to stay here longer than necessary" he told her seriously "I don't like this house for obvious reasons and however much Potter insists otherwise, we both know I'm not a particularly welcome house guest" he sighed and ran a hand through his hair "look, I know what you're going to say to this but just listen...I can go and stay at the Leaky Cauldron, you stay here until we've sorted –"

"No" said Hermione firmly "we stick together, stop being such a twit. Come on"

Hermione was rather anxious about presenting Draco to Harry and Ginny at breakfast. Harry would take her aside and interrogate her and Ginny would give her a withering look and shake her head. She walked into the kitchen first and upon seeing her, Harry smiled and stood up.

"Hermione, you're awake" he observed "we've got some brilliant news"

"Oh?" said Hermione. Draco was waiting outside the door for her to introduce him. Her eyes darted over to it "what's up?"

Ginny was beaming over her cereal "Harry and I are going to be married!" she trilled and took her fiancés hand in hers "he proposed last night, isn't that wonderful!" Ginny showed her a sparkling engagement ring.

"Oh Ginny!" said Hermione, momentarily forgetting about Draco Malfoy in the hallway "that's amazing, I'm so happy for you!" and she genuinely was. Harry looked exultant and Hermione gave both of them a hug "have you set a date?"

They were interrupted by the sound of Draco clearing his throat and as he stepped into the kitchen, Harry's smile vanished. Hermione saw Ginny shoot a look at her wand on the table and Hermione felt suddenly angry at her.

"Malfoy," said Harry calmly "how nice to see you"

"Sorry to interrupt," Draco replied "congratulations" he said to Ginny. She said nothing.

"Hermione didn't mention you would be here," said Harry tautly "I thought you had a change of heart and went back to Pansy Parkinson...I thought your fling with Hermione had been forgotten?"

"A fling," Draco repeated "if that's how you perceive it, you evidently need to talk with Hermione"

"And we will, won't we Hermione?" said Harry.

"Of...of course" Hermione replied.

"And I think Malfoy and I should have a little chat too"

"I'll look forward to it" Draco replied smoothly.

The two men stared at each other and Hermione looked from one to the other worriedly.

"Kreacher" said Harry without taking his eyes from Draco's face "make Hermione and her guest some tea. I'm going out"

"Harry," said Ginny but Harry ignored her, tore his cloak from a hook by the door and marched out of the house, slamming the front door behind him.

"That went well" said Draco lightly.

Ginny inhaled heavily through her nose and gave both of them a furious look before she too exited the kitchen and hurried up the stairs.

"Mr Malfoy," said Kreacher, offering Draco a cup of tea. Kreacher looked at him almost fearfully and Draco looked back at the elf, shook his head and with his expression fraught, walked out of the kitchen. Hermione followed.

Draco stormed along the hallway and into the back garden where he kicked a flowerpot into the wall. It shattered and rained broken pottery and soil into a flutterby bush.

"Oi!" yelled a gnome squeakily "watch it!" and disappeared back into the shrubbery.

"I don't think Harry's going to appreciate you ruining his garden" said Hermione "stop acting like a child"

"Even the fucking house elf hates me!" Draco bellowed at her "and you expect all this to work? You expect everything to just fall into place and that me, you and Potter and his wife are all going to be best of friends and play happy families?"

"No...No, I –"

"Those two, those two are a big part of your life...they're like your family and I'm a fool and you are too if we think they're going to accept this...accept us. They will always come first for you and no, I don't mind that, Hermione I don't mind that at all but how is this going to work between us because you growing closer to me is going to alienate you from them!" Draco paced across the garden.

"We can work it all out!" Hermione insisted "I don't care what Harry says, or thinks, I don't want to be without you...you know this!"

"it should never have got this far...you should never have approached me at that lake, you should have told me to fuck off when I asked you for help with my coursework because then we wouldn't be like this...you wouldn't be torn between me and Potter, you would be happy and safe and your life would be uncomplicated. Stupid cow!" Draco spat "you're willing to ruin everything you hold dear for me! Why Hermione?"

Hermione felt tears well up in her eyes. "You're broken inside, aren't you?" she said. "Haunted by your past mistakes, unable to move on...masking your grief with anger because it's easier to be angry than be miserable. You're afraid you're going to hurt me, ruin the one thing you've done right. I understand"

"Hermione!" Draco shouted at her and then his tone softened. "Hermione, I love you, I fell in love with you so quickly it disarmed me...the moment I realised that, everything changed. But because I care for you, I don't want you to wreck your friendships, tear apart your life for me. I'm not prepared to fuck up more lives, especially yours"

"We've been through this" said Hermione placidly, her heart beating fast with the fear that he was going to run away again, leave her again. She would not be able to bear it.

"Yes and we're going through it again because you don't realise! Ten, twenty years down the line, are you still going to care about me? You won't feel regret for rushing into a whirlwind romance when you could have had such a stable life with Ron...you won't regret that you took a chance?"

"I don't know" said Hermione "but I'm willing to find out"

The back door creaked open. It was Ginny. She looked at the mess the broken flower pot had left, then at Hermione's tearful eyes and Draco's face, etched with emotion. "Come inside" she said and strode away.

"I apologise for kicking your flowerpot" said Draco, taking a seat at the kitchen table "I'll pay for a replacement"

"It's a flowerpot" said Ginny "forget it"

Kreacher placed a full pot of tea on the table and slunk away.

"Thanks, Kreacher" said Ginny.

"Where's Harry?" Hermione asked quietly.

"I don't know" said Ginny tersely "he'll come back" she turned her face to Draco "we don't hate you" she told him plainly "Harry trusts you. I've never liked you but what you did during the war was brave and noble. It proved to me you're not such a bastard after all and the fact that Hermione is willing to be with you should be enough for all her friends to see that you're a decent person, a good person. Harry isn't stupid; he wouldn't have you in the Order if he thought otherwise." Ginny sipped her tea calmly "Harry and I care about my brother very much. The breakup of his relationship with Hermione almost destroyed him and Harry and I were there to watch and it was us who had to pick up the pieces.

We don't blame Hermione and we don't blame Ron for any of that but his feelings were and still are, very raw. For Hermione to begin a relationship with anyone so soon after their breakup would have been hard enough for him but for her to fall suddenly, completely in love with a man who for a long time, was a complete bastard to him and his friends was difficult for him to come to terms with. Ron is very loyal, very caring and still in love with Hermione and I think that he probably always will be. I know what it is to be in love, Hermione and I understand. And you," she turned back to Draco "if you throw all that away because of your own self doubt then you're the biggest idiot I've ever met in my life. If you two really are serious, if you really do care about each other then don't let anything or anyone get in the way of that. Also, if you hurt her, I will hex you and it will be somewhere that hurts. A lot"

Hermione smiled at Ginny. Draco was looking at Ginny very intently, very seriously.

"I would never hurt her" he said.

"Right," said Ginny briskly "well, what are you going to do? I'm sure neither of you want to stay here for too long and although Harry and I would never push you out onto the streets, this is our first home together and we want it to ourselves"

"We need to wait for our N.E.W.T results" said Hermione "and then we're going to get jobs"

"Doing what?" said Ginny.

"Well, we don't know yet. I was thinking of applying at the Ministry –"

"I think the obvious choice for two Order members already skilled in battle would be Aurors" said Ginny "don't you agree?"

"Slight problem there" said Draco "I don't think the Ministry would be too eager to hire an ex-Death Eater" Draco frowned and rubbed his face, sighing.

"Quite" said Ginny "however, my future husband just happens to be in line to become Head of the Auror Department. You know what they say; it's not what you know but who you know, right?" Ginny smiled at them "how did you both do on your Defence Against the Dark Arts course?"

"She would have done brilliantly, obviously" said Draco, nodding towards Hermione. "I reckon I passed, thanks to her tutoring"

"A pass is all I need" said Ginny who looked quite pleased with herself.

"Wouldn't this particular career you seem to be so confident about Hermione and I going into, involve Potter being my boss?" asked Draco.

"Yep" said Ginny happily "won't that be fun?"

Draco laughed through his nose "I appreciate you offering to pull some strings for me but I don't think this is going to work"

"Don't be stubborn" Hermione told him. She knew it was Draco's pride that was making him reject Ginny's offer. He was too proud to go into a job that he acquired through favouritism rather than through his own means and much too proud to ever want Harry Potter as his boss. "It doesn't have to be a permanent placement; it's just something to get us started. Once you've gained some trust at the Ministry you'll be able to apply for something else, right Ginny?"

Ginny shrugged "Aurors are very well paid; I don't see why you'd want to apply for anything else. Besides, it's an exciting job"

"We'll think about it" said Hermione.


	24. Chapter 24

**Author's Note - This is a shorter chapter than the last but it also contains quite a lot of fluff and cheese! Enjoy and don't forget to review! :)**

Hermione remained awake until past midnight, waiting for Harry to come home. Ginny went to bed at ten, fed up of sitting in the kitchen, waiting for her husband's return and Draco retired not long after, leaving Hermione alone with Kreacher who kept her supplied with hot tea and cakes. She left them untouched, too concerned about Harry to eat.

Hermione had no idea where he had disappeared to. She hoped he had not gone to Ron's because that would only make things worse for her. She had been considering Ginny's offer to get her and Draco Auror jobs at the Ministry. Ginny was right, it was the obvious choice for both of them as members of the Order of the Phoenix, as soldiers who had fought in the battle against Voldemort. She had not considered a job as an Auror before Ginny's suggestion. She had planned to acquire a well paid office position, perhaps in the Magical Creatures department and work her way up the career ladder. A career as an Auror had always been Harry's aspiration.

Auror's were well paid, even the lower ranks. It was one of the most lucrative positions in the whole Ministry and Hermione could not deny she and Draco needed the gold. She had savings but not enough to put down a deposit anywhere. Before her romance with Draco had blossomed, she had everything planned out for herself. She would live at Grimmauld Place until she had earned enough money to find herself a little house somewhere, maybe in the countryside, somewhere picturesque and quiet. She would use her ambition and intelligence to become successful at the Ministry, throw herself into her career as she had always planned. But then Draco came along and everything changed. He was now her future and the little house she had pictured in her mind these past few years was not only her future home but now his too because he was a part of her life.

She imagined the garden, with its fragrant honeysuckle and vibrant flowerbeds, the lush green lawn. And instead of her alone on that lawn, stretched out on a blanket with only her book for company, Draco was there too, stroking her hair and whispering endearments in her ear.

Of course this cottage only existed in her imagination. It was a dream, nothing more. One day, Hermione thought...one day...

The front door slammed closed and made Hermione jump and spill her tea. Kreacher scuttled out of the kitchen to greet Harry and take his rain soaked cloak and umbrella and Hermione waited anxiously for her friend to appear.

"Where have you been?" she asked as Harry walked into the kitchen "Ginny's been beside herself with worry"

Kreacher took a cloth and began mopping up the tea "would you like some food, sir?" he asked croakily.

"No, not yet" Harry replied and pulled out a chair opposite Hermione. He looked drawn and tired.

"Where's Draco?" Harry asked quietly.

"In my room" Hermione answered.

"I see"

"Where did you go?"

"I walked through the rain, thinking, trying to calm down. Then I went to see Ron"

Hermione groaned "Harry, why did you do that? You know it would make things worse!"

"I didn't mention Draco had come back to you" Harry told her "that's your responsibility. But you should know, he isn't doing well, Hermione. The house is a mess, he's been drinking heavily...you need to see him"

"There's nothing I can do" said Hermione regretfully "and it pains me that he's like this, of course it does. Don't act like I don't care because I love Ron very much, Harry"

"This is your mess to clear up, Hermione. Ginny and I have been doing that for too long now"

"I know!" Hermione replied loudly "but it's not just Ron I have to fix, is it?" she dropped her voice "Draco lost both his parents, Harry. You above all people should know what that's like"

Harry stared at the table "You need to sort out Ron first, Hermione. Ron needs to come first right now. When you see him, you'll understand. I'm going to bed, goodnight Hermione"

Harry left the kitchen and Hermione brushed tears away from her eyes. She tried to stop the sobs escaping, tried to control the tears but it was impossible and she started to weep. How would she stop Ron's pain? How could she walk into his house and tell him that everything would be alright, how could she ever explain to him how very sorry she was? The last time she saw him, tried to explain, they had kissed. Why did she do that? It had only have made things more painful for them both.

She felt an arm around her shoulders and she recognised that smell of soap and light cologne. Draco.

"Shh," Draco soothed "why are you crying?"

She did not speak; she merely wept into Draco's shoulder, clung to him as he kissed her hair and wiped away her tears. After a while, he lifted her up and carried her upstairs to her bedroom where he laid her on the bed. She wept into her pillow and Draco sat on the edge of the mattress, his hand gently rubbing her arm.

"Why are you crying?" he asked again.

Hermione didn't answer. She raised her head and looked into Draco's grey eyes and then raised a hand to touch his face. She drew closer and pulled him towards her, kissing him gently. She tugged him onto the bed, her fingers reaching for his shirt buttons. Draco complied at first, returning her kisses, slipping a hand into her blouse. He looked at her and Hermione went to kiss him again but this time, he backed away and stood up, his shirt half open, his hair ruffled.

"What are you doing?" said Hermione, almost angrily "what's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with you?" Draco asked her. "Why were you crying?"

"Come here" said Hermione softly "I need you"

Draco hesitated for a moment and then went back to the bed and drew Hermione into his arms, pulling the covers over her and kissing her lightly on the cheek "let's not rush anything, hmm?" he said "something has upset you. You are not thinking clearly, it's late, we should sleep"

"Do you not want me?" said Hermione.

Draco laughed "more than you know" he said. "Will you tell me why you're so upset?"

"Ron's depressed" Hermione replied tearfully "I broke his heart and he isn't coping. You and I have no money, no home, no job..."

"Shh," said Draco "it'll all be alright, you know it will. I'll look after you from now on, we'll sort this all out you'll see, Hermione. Everything will be alright"

"We'll get a house together" said Hermione, closing her eyes "in the country...somewhere beautiful"

"Mhmm" said Draco.

"With a garden full of honeysuckle...and a lawn where we'll lie in the summer, drinking lemonade and reading..."

"And a kitchen with the curtains you chose?" said Draco with a chuckle.

"Yes" said Hermione sleepily "everything will be alright"


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N I haven't been doing my best on this story recently...I've been quite lazy with it the past few chapters so I'm going to try a bit harder for this one. Don't forget to review people, it only takes a second!**

Rain smattered against the windows, droplets of water falling smoothly down glass like the tears that slid down her cheeks. A glass of Firewhisky was by her hand and a crumpled letter lay beside it...screwed up and tossed aside in anger but smoothed out carefully a moment later when the fury turned to despair.

She should not feel anger; surely...it was her choice, after all. The whisky stung her throat but comforted her and her hand reached for the letter that lay beside the glass.

_Pansy,_

The missive began with only her name, a formal start. How different this letter was from the notes once passed furtively in classes, those scraps of parchment slid beneath her dormitory door..._My love_...they had said when she opened them and started to read with a smile on her face as she drank in the words, always poetic, always heartfelt. Draco had always been eloquent.

_I made it to London. I'm at the Leaky Cauldron and leaving for Grimmauld Place tomorrow._

_I want to thank you for letting me go. It was brave and selfless and your kindness and compassion, your empathy is more than I deserve. _

_Don't dwell on what could have been, on what never was. My regrets will be with me forever, my mistakes will follow me like a shadow but your wounds will heal. As time passes and the years go by, you will move on with your life, you'll see. I hope it is filled with happiness. _

_I'm sorry._

_Draco_

She was broken. Draco had destroyed her and he knew it. He had fallen in love with another girl, fallen so fast and true, enamoured and fascinated by her in a way he never was with her. That is why she had to let him leave because she could not live a lie, she could not play games with her own heart. She could not watch as he pined for Hermione Granger while she pretended to herself he would forget that fleeting romance and learn to love her once more.

The love of her life, stolen by a Mudblood, taken from her. A piece of her heart gauged out by a girl who was plain and unremarkable, with ink stained cuffs and flyaway hair, bookish and uninteresting. Surely she should pale in comparison to herself...sleek and groomed, quick witted, loyal, devoted. They had grown up together, shared their lives together and yet all their past, all they had been through with each other seemed to be worth nothing anymore. She was angry with Granger, furious with her. Did she not realise what she was destroying? No, what she had already destroyed...

"Pansy"

Her cousin, slender with the angular features and dark glossy hair they shared, entered the kitchen and took a seat across the table from her. Pansy wondered for a moment why she was in a dressing gown. She glanced at the clock – 11pm. Had she really been sitting here drinking for that long?

"She stole everything, April, tore my world apart" Pansy said to her, noticing her words were slurred from the drink "she doesn't realise what she has done"

"I thought you were stronger than this, this is pathetic" her cousin replied harshly "when someone steals something from you that is precious, you take it back. Am I wrong?"

Pansy laughed humourlessly "while she is there, Draco will never consider coming back. I let him go because I wanted him to be happy"

"And are you happy?" April enquired "look at what you've done to yourself" she picked up the empty Firewhisky bottle and slammed it back onto the table "you're a mess. Draco would have been happy; his relationship with the Mudblood is an infatuation. She wormed her way into his life and offered him comfort when he needed it. You were always his and he was always yours and because of your stupidity, you've driven him back to her"

"Draco loves her, I see it in his eyes...I saw it when he looked at her" she paused "it was how he used to look at me"

"Don't be weak!" April told her sternly "he caused you enough pain before he ran away with this filthy little slut he's taken a fancy to and now you've decided to stand back and let him hurt you again! Draco needs to heal your heart and make up for the mistakes he made. You mustn't throw all this away, Pansy"

"Then what do you suggest I do?" Pansy asked her angrily "what am I supposed to do?"

"Get rid of the problem" said April, looking at her closely "permanently"

Pansy stared back at her, processing the suggestion through her alcohol soaked haze "No..." she said "no...No I can't do that to him"

"You need to get rid of her in order for Draco to see his mistake!" April insisted "she's nothing, Pansy...have you seen the girl?"

"I won't kill her" said Pansy.

"Then remove her some other way!" said April "frame her for something..." she said thoughtfully "we have friends who escaped the war, who can help us arrange a fitting crime and ensure Miss Granger ends up in Azkaban –"

"She's a heroine, it would never stick" said Pansy.

April reclined in her chair and looked contemplatively out of the window at the rainy Welsh countryside "then we make Draco cheat on her. Nothing like a broken heart to cause pain, is there Pansy? Or at least we will make it seem as though he has cheated...make it so convincing that little Miss Granger ends up heartbroken and angry and then she leaves Draco and you step in to comfort him, make him see that he has always loved you, not her"

"We could make her cheat on him" said Pansy, suddenly more alert, brought out of her drunken stupor by a sudden idea "the Weasley boy is besotted with her, he hates Draco and wants the Mudblood back –"

April smiled "perfect" she said "do you know where he lives?"


End file.
